Ponderisms -

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  • kassi59
    Major General

    • Nov 2005
    • 2771

    Ponderisms -

    1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
    was God and I didn't

    2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

    4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

    8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    10.. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

    11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
    medicine.

    13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

    18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    19.. Procrastinate Now!

    20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

    22.. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

    23.. HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    24. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
  • bill2006
    Lieutenant General

    • May 2006
    • 3421

    #2
    Re: Ponderisms -

    Lol, things to ponder in the morning. hmmmm
    Bill
    www.blueearthtea.com
    www.ftaaconsulting.com
    www.iaval.com
    www.theemeraldbay.com

    Comment

    • bill2006
      Lieutenant General

      • May 2006
      • 3421

      #3
      Re: Ponderisms -

      How can there be self-help GROUPS?

      Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

      What was the best thing before sliced bread?

      If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

      Why do doctors call what they do practice?

      If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

      When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

      "If winners never quit and quitters never win then who came up with the saying 'quit while you're ahead'?
      Bill
      www.blueearthtea.com
      www.ftaaconsulting.com
      www.iaval.com
      www.theemeraldbay.com

      Comment

      • SChajin
        Major General

        • Jan 2006
        • 2792

        #4
        Re: Ponderisms -

        Gotta love them
        Sharon Chajin

        Comment

        • C L
          General

          • Jul 2006
          • 5561

          #5
          Re: Ponderisms -

          Another funny. he he

          Comment

          • beegud2
            Major General

            • Apr 2006
            • 2156

            #6
            Re: Ponderisms -

            LOL...ahh Kate ...ALL true for me...I don't ponder they are the rules of my life...lol
            Beezz
            sigpic


            ___________________
            http://www.beezworld.com

            http://www.bzzybeezwordz.blogspot.com

            Comment

            • C L
              General

              • Jul 2006
              • 5561

              #7
              Re: Ponderisms -

              A couple of rules per arm?

              Comment

              • FPRob
                Colonel

                • Aug 2006
                • 955

                #8
                Re: Ponderisms -

                Here's a couple that often bugged me and definitely worth a thought... When you have nothing better to do of course :)

                How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

                Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

                Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?

                Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

                If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

                How can Captain Kirk dodge phaser fire unless he movces at the speed of light?

                Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?



                FPRULES


                Comment

                • ez-ez
                  Special Status

                  • Mar 2006
                  • 1329

                  #9
                  Re: Ponderisms -

                  I am boycotting this thread.. my jaw hurts and I feel I gave my 6 pack a good workout from laughter.. This thread is a health hazard..

                  Kate, Bill and Rob.. you never cease to amaze me..

                  ROFL.

                  Comment

                  • kassi59
                    Major General

                    • Nov 2005
                    • 2771

                    #10
                    Re: Ponderisms -

                    Nothing amazing Carlos, just real issues in life that we just dont take the time to think about!...hehe...

                    Comment

                    • racefan20
                      Major General

                      • Jul 2005
                      • 2335

                      #11
                      Re: Ponderisms -

                      If a sheep is a ram and a mule is an ass, how come a ram in the ass is a goose?
                      My NASCAR Forum

                      Comment

                      • kassi59
                        Major General

                        • Nov 2005
                        • 2771

                        #12
                        Re: Ponderisms -

                        lol....another deep ponder...

                        Comment

                        • FPRob
                          Colonel

                          • Aug 2006
                          • 955

                          #13
                          Re: Ponderisms -

                          Originally posted by racefan20
                          If a sheep is a ram and a mule is an ass, how come a ram in the ass is a goose?
                          Whoa there RF.. That sound like something that Socrates or Aristotle would have come up with LOL

                          :D

                          FPRULES


                          Comment

                          • ez-ez
                            Special Status

                            • Mar 2006
                            • 1329

                            #14
                            Re: Ponderisms -

                            lmao.. RFL.. This is to funny..

                            16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

                            uh huh.. all the f***** time..lmao

                            Comment

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