An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

[racefan20]

Before you read this, please be aware that it is a humorous attempt to point out some basics here in VodaLand - nothing more and nothing less.





There are some elements of truth to it, but the idea is to give you a laugh and that's all.

1. Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it, and must use the PUBLISH function within Blue Voda!
2. Downloading Blue Voda, opening it and staring blankly at the screen for an hour will NOT get your site built. Posting here after staring blankly at the screen for an hour will NOT get your site built.
3. Posting questions on the forum is a good idea, but POSTING IN ALL CAPS or starting your thread with the not so original title of "Please Help Me!!!!" will not get you any extra attention.
4. A continuation of #3: Posting your question and then posting it again because you didn't receive an answer inside of two minutes is not necessary. Posting multiple threads on the same subject is also not necessary and should, in my opinion, be punishable by multiple wet willies and swirlies. (For any of our foreign visitors not familiar with those phrases, you don't want to be familiar with those phrases.)
5. Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it, and must use the PUBLISH function within Blue Voda!
6. When posting your question, please take the time to make sure those of us who don't live inside your head understand what the hell you're talking about. Questions such as "Please help, I have a site and there are lines but no squigglies" are not questions - they are statements. When someone asks you to be more specific, responding with "well, I can't see the squigglies and I need this fixed" isn't going to help much.
7. When you've posted a question and people have posted back and forth with you to help you find the answer, it is perfectly acceptable to say, THANK YOU! Most of us don't get paid to be here, we just stop by to try to help if we can.
8. Please read #7 again.
9. There is a search feature on this forum, please give it a try sometime. Likewise, there is a well kept secret known as Google, which is a search engine where you can type in certain words or phrases and it will find you all kinds of things about those words and phrases from all over the internet. It's a secret, so don't tell anyone, but you can find it here: http://www.google.com/. They are rewriting the Old Testament to add an 11th Commandment of "Thou Shalt Run a Google Search". (Or words to that effect, they're still working out the details.)
10. Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it, and must use the PUBLISH function within Blue Voda!
11. General VodaHost, Brad, Sarah and George are good people who work for and run Voda Host and try their best to help. Likewise, we have qualified Moderators who have tons of expertise to share and who bear the brunt of the burden of managing the Forums. If the answer they provide to your question isn't to your satisfaction, it is not necessary to pick a fight with them. Doing so will not get you any extra help, and you'll anger those of us who have the common sense to appreciate and respect them.
12. Watching the tutorials is a good thing!
13. Expecting us to walk you step by step through building your pages is a bad thing!
14. Putting together a simple "Coming Soon" page on your new domain is a good thing!
15. Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it, and must use the PUBLISH function within Blue Voda!
16. Asking "how-to" questions about forms, search engines and eCommerce (etc) before you've even attempted to put together a simple "Coming Soon" page is a bad thing!
17. When a function you've put on your site (link, form, whatever else) doesn't work properly, there is NOTHING wrong with deleting it and trying again rather than first posting here and asking why it doesn't work.
18. If someone asks you if you have the latest version of Blue Voda and you say, "I think so", you don't.
19. Emailing me and asking me for help does not help other people on the forum with the same problem.
20. Last, but not least: Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it, and must use the PUBLISH function within Blue Voda!
21. You are only allowed to make bald guy jokes if you are a two star general or above.

For anyone reading this, I'm very much just joking around. Of course your questions are welcome here and the collective group WILL do our best to help you. But, we don't mind one little bit if you do your homework first.

Your homework starts on the following pages:

http://www.vodahost.com/vodatalk/showthread.php?t=665

http://www.vodahost.com/tut1.htm

http://www.vodahost.com/order.htm

http://www.vodahost.com/help.htm

Happy web building, everyone!

[davidundalicia]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

Please read Nos: 7 and 8 again......

Thank you racefan20.

have fun

[LadyEye]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

Ladies & Gentlemen .... please start your engines .... lmao

racefan if i hadn't read and re-read the part about it being a joke i'd swear you are having pms ..... :)

lmao

lol ... going back to re-read #7 to try and figure out who doesn't belong in the "Most" lol

lmao

[davidundalicia]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

But race does have PMS

Post More Suggestions
- - -

[metaldoc]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

Before you read this, please be aware that it is a JOKE - nothing more and nothing less.
There are some elements of truth to it, but the idea is to give you a laugh and that's all.

1. Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it.
2. Downloading Blue Voda, opening it and staring blankly at the screen for an hour will NOT get your site built. Posting here after staring blankly at the screen for an hour will NOT get your site built.
3. Posting questions on the forum is a good idea, but POSTING IN ALL CAPS or starting your thread with the not so original title of "Please Help Me!!!!" will not get you any extra attention.
4. A continuation of #3: Posting your question and then posting it again because you didn't receive an answer inside of two minutes is not necessary. Posting multiple threads on the same subject is also not necessary and should, in my opinion, be punishable by multiple wet willies and swirlies. (For any of our foreign visitors not familiar with those phrases, you don't want to be familiar with those phrases.)
5. Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it.
6. When posting your question, please take the time to make sure those of us who don't live inside your head understand what the hell you're talking about. Questions such as "Please help, I have a site and there are lines but no squigglies" are not questions - they are statements. When someone asks you to be more specific, responding with "well, I can't see the squigglies and I need this fixed" isn't going to help much.
7. When you've posted a question and people have posted back and forth with you to help you find the answer, it is perfectly acceptable to say, THANK YOU! Most of us don't get paid to be here, we just stop by to try to help if we can.
8. Please read #7 again.
9. There is a search feature on this forum, please give it a try sometime. Likewise, there is a well kept secret known as Google, which is a search engine where you can type in certain words or phrases and it will find you all kinds of things about those words and phrases from all over the internet. It's a secret, so don't tell anyone, but you can find it here: http://www.google.com/. They are rewriting the Old Testament to add an 11th Commandment of "Thou Shalt Run a Google Search". (Or words to that effect, they're still working out the details.)
10. Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it.
11. *****, Brad, Sarah and George are good people who work for and run Voda Host and try their best to help. If the answer they provide to your question isn't to your satisfaction, it is not necessary to pick a fight with them. Doing so will not get you any extra help, and you'll anger those of us who have the common sense to appreciate and respect them.
12. Watching the tutorials is a good thing!
13. Expecting us to walk you step by step through building your pages is a bad thing!
14. Putting together a simple "Coming Soon" page on your new domain is a good thing!
15. Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it.
16. Asking "how-to" questions about forms, search engines and eCommerce (etc) before you've even attempted to put together a simple "Coming Soon" page is a bad thing!
17. When a function you've put on your site (link, form, whatever else) doesn't work properly, there is NOTHING wrong with deleting it and trying again rather than first posting here and asking why it doesn't work.
18. If someone asks you if you have the latest version of Blue Voda and you say, "I think so", you don't.
19. Emailing me and asking me for help does not help other people on the forum with the same problem.
20. Last, but not least: Blue Voda is a free website builder, but you must have a PAID Voda Host account to publish with it.
21. You are only allowed to make bald guy jokes if you are a two star general or above.

For anyone reading this, I'm very much just joking around. Of course your questions are welcome here and the collective group WILL do our best to help you. But, we don't mind one little bit if you do your homework first.

Your homework starts on the following pages:

http://www.vodahost.com/vodatalk/showthread.php?t=665

http://www.vodahost.com/tut1.htm

http://www.vodahost.com/order.htm

http://www.vodahost.com/help.htm

Happy web building, everyone!

THANK YOU! for making me smile!!!

[LadyEye]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

But race does have PMS

Post More Suggestions
- - -

lol David .... good one!!!

[Aliens Anonymous]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

It's OK Race i understand fully !!

[bill2006]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

Wtg !

[racefan20]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

Ladies & Gentlemen .... please start your engines .... lmao

racefan if i hadn't read and re-read the part about it being a joke i'd swear you are having pms ..... :)

lmao

lol ... going back to re-read #7 to try and figure out who doesn't belong in the "Most" lol

lmao

LOL That was originally written in late '05 and when I wrote it, this forum was much, much different. There was a very small handful of people on here trying to help others and it became very frustrating at times seeing the same questions posted over and over and over when the answers were all out there.

It was always meant as a joke and still is, but because of a couple misunderstandings regarding its intent, it faded away. I still think it's a relevant source of a good laugh, so I revived and revised it. No one should take it seriously and thankfully, no one does. LOL

[LadyEye]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

lol race ... it is pretty funny .and I chuckled with David's analogy of PMS ... where do our minds come from eh! ..

but I could think of one more revision ... lol

It really should be titled

An Open Letter to All Users .... lmao

(They don't even have to be new!!)

[racefan20]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

lol race ... it is pretty funny .and I chuckled with David's analogy of PMS ... where do our minds come from eh! ..

but I could think of one more revision ... lol

It really should be titled

An Open Letter to All Users .... lmao

(They don't even have to be new!!)

lol You make a good point.

[Vasili]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

LOL That was originally written in late '05 and when I wrote it, this forum was much, much different. There was a very small handful of people on here trying to help others and it became very frustrating at times seeing the same questions posted over and over and over when the answers were all out there.

I remember when it first came out....I was still poking around deciding to come into VodaLand.
Back then it seemed that there truly were only a handful of "resources": you, *****, Pablo, Brad, Tomisan, and a couple others. And you all blew me away with your "technical expertise" so much so I was actually intimidated! LOL
(I wonder how many can see how much of an influence you have been to me, and how your "perspective" echos in my posts?)

You still blow me away. And, I am priviledged to enjoy your friendship as well. Keep things real with your presence and "steerage" General.
Besides....there are few left to appreciate my sense of humor!

[racefan20]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

I remember when it first came out....I was still poking around deciding to come into VodaLand.
Back then it seemed that there truly were only a handful of "resources": you, *****, Pablo, Brad, Tomisan, and a couple others. And you all blew me away with your "technical expertise" so much so I was actually intimidated! LOL
(I wonder how many can see how much of an influence you have been to me, and how your "perspective" echos in my posts?)

You still blow me away. And, I am priviledged to enjoy your friendship as well. Keep things real with your presence and "steerage" General.
Besides....there are few left to appreciate my sense of humor!

Thanks for that, my friend, but don't leave Naval off that list - he and I coexisted at that point in time. If I didn't have the answer, he did and if he didn't have the answer, I did.

I'm honored that you've characterized me in the fashion that you have, it shows that my efforts here weren't wasted. All I ever did was offer a little help along with a heaping helping of sarcasm, but it seemed to go over well most of the time.

My presence is right where it belongs - an occasional post here and there. Us retired guys need our rest.

[philipc9635]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

Hey racefan

I have built a webpage but can't seem to publish it. I thought this was a free website builder??

Ha Ha, only kidding!!!! You should of added Hijacking another thread in there somewhere. Although I've probably been guilty of that myself in the past.

But I like your list. Its an interesting way of presenting a tutorial about the forum. Well done.

[Vasili]

Re: An Open Letter to All New Users (Revised)

Thanks for that, my friend, but don't leave Naval off that list - he and I coexisted at that point in time. If I didn't have the answer, he did and if he didn't have the answer, I did.

You're right...I didn't intend to leave Girogio off the list whatsoever (the double-edge of making lists at all).

It is pretty amazing though, when you really stop to look at it: VodaTalk has grown so huge that most cannot imagine what it used to be like. For me, the best comparison would be that VodaTalk used to be like what the Soholaunch forum is today. Only VodaTalk is friendlier, and has the VodaLounge to keep me in stitches while I massage my webbing frustrations!


>> You might even recall my old name "TheDiamondPro"?? I was the one who kept trying to find a way to publish using BV outside of VH....you might have even written this to shut me up, who knows??
LOL