Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

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  • LadyEye
    General & Forum Moderator

    • Jun 2006
    • 10526

    Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

    I'm Glad I'm a Man

    I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.
    I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese
    I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts.
    I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west.

    I don't get wasted after only 2 beers,
    And when I do drink I don't end up in tears.
    I won't spend hours deciding what to wear.
    I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair.

    And I don't go around checking my reflection
    in everything shiny from every direction.
    I don't whine in public and make us leave early,
    And when you ask why get all bitter and surly.

    I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing.
    I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.
    I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back.
    I don't carry our differences into the sack.

    I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you
    Or think every guy out there's trying to steal you.
    I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too.
    I know what the time is and I know what to do.

    And I honestly think its a privilege for me
    To have these two balls and stand when I pee.
    I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball.
    It's more fun than dealing with women after all.

    I won't cry if you say it's not going to work.
    I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk.
    Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure.
    I won't assume it's permanent by any measure.

    Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a man, you see.
    I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery.
    I don't get all bitchy every 28 days.
    I'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise.

    I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true.
    I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!


    I'm Glad I'm A Woman

    Im glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am.
    I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam.
    I don't brag to my buddies about my erections.
    I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions.

    I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown.
    And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down!
    I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt.
    My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut.

    And I don't go around "re-adjusting" my crotch,
    or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch.
    I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind.
    I'm a woman you see-I'm just not that kind!

    I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing.
    I don't have body hair like shag carpeting.
    It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back.
    When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack.

    And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb.
    I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome.
    Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side.
    I'm a woman, you know-I've got far too much pride!

    And I honestly think its a privilege for me,
    To have these two boobs and to squat when I pee.
    I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball.
    I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

    I won't tell you my wife just does not understand,
    Or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band.
    Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep,
    Then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!

    Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a woman, you see.
    Forget all about that old penis envy.
    I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
    Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick.

    I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful, it's true.
    I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!

    VodaHost

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  • Dream Lady
    Major General

    • Feb 2006
    • 2036

    #2
    Re: Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

    lmao!!! Equal time.....those are great!
    Cindy Smentowski

    Comment

    • Vasili
      Moderator

      • Mar 2006
      • 14683

      #3
      Re: Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

      In the immortal words of a very wise man on the subject (Richard Pryor):

      "I loves my womenses!"


      Since VodaTalk is PG, I can't relate the whole silloquy....
      . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
      * Success Is Potential Realized *

      Comment

      • LadyEye
        General & Forum Moderator

        • Jun 2006
        • 10526

        #4
        Re: Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

        Originally posted by Dream Lady
        lmao!!! Equal time.....those are great!
        I thought they were a riot Cindy .... I think I am going to call you

        "Cindy Lou Who" lol ....


        Vasili - we're reading the code, from Pryor .... lol

        VodaHost

        Your Website People!
        1-302-283-3777 North America / International
        02036089024 / United Kingdom
        291916438 / Australia

        ------------------------

        Top 3 Best Sellers

        Web Hosting - Unlimited disk space & bandwidth.

        Reseller Hosting - Start your own web hosting business.

        Search Engine & Directory Submission - 300 directories + (Google,Yahoo,Bing)


        Comment

        • kassi59
          Major General

          • Nov 2005
          • 2771

          #5
          Re: Are You Glad You Are A Man or A Woman

          Hey thats my nickname! well 'katie lou who' cause I still think there is good in the grinch, just gotta find it!...lol

          and I kinda like spam...which will bring me into the spam song...lol
          Good one!

          Comment

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