What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

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  • kassi59
    Major General

    • Nov 2005
    • 2771

    What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

    Bits Bytes Chips Clocks
    Bits in bytes on chips in box.
    Bytes with bits and chips with clocks.
    Chips in box on ether-docks.

    Chips with bits come. Chips with bytes come.
    Chips with bits and bytes and clocks come.

    Look, sir. Look, sir. read the book, sir.
    Let's do tricks with bits and bytes, sir.
    Let's do tricks with chips and clocks, sir.

    First, I'll make a quick trick bit stack.
    Then I'll make a quick trick byte stack.
    You can make a quick trick chip stack.
    You can make a quick trick clock stack.

    And here's a new trick on the scene.
    Bits in bytes for your machine.
    Bytes in words to fill your screen.

    Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir.
    Try to say this by the clock, sir.

    Clocks on chips tick.
    Clocks on chips tock.
    Eight byte bits tick.
    Eight bit bytes tock.
    Clocks on chips with eight bit bytes tick.
    Chips with clocks and eight byte bits tock.

    Here's an easy game to play.
    Here's an easy thing to say....

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
    And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
    And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
    Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

    If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
    And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
    And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
    Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

    You can't say this? What a shame sir!
    We'll find you another game sir.

    If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
    Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
    But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
    That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
    And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
    So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
    Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
    'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

    When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
    And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
    Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
    Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
    Copyright © 1995 by Gene Ziegler.
  • ez-ez
    Special Status

    • Mar 2006
    • 1329

    #2
    Re: What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

    Wait a minute... now we're talking money... I wonder if I can put this on my website as downloadable tech support e-book.. $29.90 a hit... lol

    Comment

    • kassi59
      Major General

      • Nov 2005
      • 2771

      #3
      Re: What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

      I like that great business mind!....lol...

      Comment

      • bill2006
        Lieutenant General

        • May 2006
        • 3421

        #4
        Re: What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

        Very clever,
        Would that make the Cat in the Hat a virus?
        Click image for larger version

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        Bill
        www.blueearthtea.com
        www.ftaaconsulting.com
        www.iaval.com
        www.theemeraldbay.com

        Comment

        • C L
          General

          • Jul 2006
          • 5561

          #5
          Re: What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

          I will not, will not eat green eggs and ham, Sam I am

          I will not eat em on a boat, I will not eat em with a goat.......

          Comment

          • larazovich
            General

            • Jul 2006
            • 5811

            #6
            Re: What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

            I will not put them down my throat..
            Liz
            www.sebastopolparty.com
            www.raynordescendents.com

            Ring the bells that still can ring

            Comment

            • C L
              General

              • Jul 2006
              • 5561

              #7
              Re: What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

              Liz..............Happy Halloween!

              I will not eat em in a house, I will not eat em with a mouse
              I will not, will not eat green eggs and ham, Sam I am

              You a camera, for Halloween? lol

              Comment

              • Vasili
                Moderator

                • Mar 2006
                • 14683

                #8
                Re: What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

                I bought Volume 2 and have been trying to figure out why it is mostly about Windows '98.....I should have known by the first paragraph of the Preface:
                "If you can read this, you probably don't need this, but if you think you do (it may certainly be true), then continue to turn page after page until the end of the age, or until you find yourself in a tizzy-turned red-in-the-face absolutely out of control computer user rage!"

                Must have seen my email melt down coming....
                . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
                * Success Is Potential Realized *

                Comment

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