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I will crawl out into the backyard to do myself in first,
despite all the pleading, and how much it hurts!
I won't stand for that nonsense getting to me! (Who ever heard of not being able to pee?)
Whether I poop or scoot, or am called an old coot,
I won't let myself get old or my house be sold!
I have enough money, I have enough gold
to keep myself from getting uncomfortably cold
until I can get the damned sliding door to open
so I can get outside to end my eternal coping
with my aged and brittle and withered body....
unable to mess with the next door hottie!
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