Fluency in English

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  • bill2006
    Lieutenant General

    • May 2006
    • 3421

    Fluency in English

    As we write our web sites, this little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.

    There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, and neither ***** nor pine in pine*****.

    English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France- Surprise!

    Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

    Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

    And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

    If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?

    Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

    If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

    If a teacher taught something, why didn't a preacher praught?

    If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

    In what language do people:
    -recite at a play and play at a recital?
    -ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
    -have noses that run and feet that smell?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

    You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

    That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
    Bill
    www.blueearthtea.com
    www.ftaaconsulting.com
    www.iaval.com
    www.theemeraldbay.com
  • Dream Lady
    Major General

    • Feb 2006
    • 2036

    #2
    Re: Fluency in English

    This all makes perfect cents to me! Why is it sense and not cents?
    Cindy Smentowski

    Comment

    • Astraltraveller
      General

      • Jul 2006
      • 4006

      #3
      Re: Fluency in English

      One confused language the confused English language.......lol

      Manny(THE ALIEN LEADER)
      Click Here to See the Vodaliens Album & Join the Club!! Sendyour personal photo to be alienated to the Vodalien Group


      www.astralengineering.net
      www.masqueradecreations.com

      Comment

      • limebrook1
        Brigadier General

        • Jun 2005
        • 1583

        #4
        Re: Fluency in English

        Very good!
        Trish
        www.Limebrook.com
        www.MountainWalk.co.uk
        www.MyBeardedDragons.co.uk
        www.TucsonForBeginners.com
        www.Pets4kids.info

        Comment

        • asirimarco
          Brigadier General

          • Jun 2006
          • 1208

          #5
          Re: Fluency in English

          if i wasn't born to it i don't think i could learn it and the spelling plumber - where is the b when you say it - egads ann
          Ann
          www.MovingOn1.com - My Travel
          www.BeadedCustomDesigns.com - Jewelry
          www.FantasyManorArtStudio.com - Leather Art

          Comment

          • bill2006
            Lieutenant General

            • May 2006
            • 3421

            #6
            Re: Fluency in English

            Originally posted by Dream Lady
            This all makes perfect cents to me! Why is it sense and not cents?
            Then again it could be scents which you don't want back when you really want cents.
            And don't forget with park in the driveway and drive on the parkway.
            Bill
            www.blueearthtea.com
            www.ftaaconsulting.com
            www.iaval.com
            www.theemeraldbay.com

            Comment

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