A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

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  • MandyN
    Major

    • Jan 2006
    • 397

    A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

    A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

    The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit After fifty, they are like onions."

    "Onions?"

    "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

    This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

    The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

    "A Christmas tree?"

    "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
    I Sing For My Soul... la, la, la...

  • asirimarco
    Brigadier General

    • Jun 2006
    • 1208

    #2
    Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

    great one - have to remember it
    ann
    Ann
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    • C L
      General

      • Jul 2006
      • 5561

      #3
      Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

      lol Mandy

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      • limebrook1
        Brigadier General

        • Jun 2005
        • 1583

        #4
        Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

        very good!
        Trish
        www.Limebrook.com
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        • LadyEye
          General & Forum Moderator

          • Jun 2006
          • 10526

          #5
          Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

          lol ........ payback is a %$##% isn't it ........

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          • Vasili
            Moderator

            • Mar 2006
            • 14683

            #6
            Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

            Originally posted by LadyEye
            lol ........ payback is a %$##% isn't it ........
            Oh, hush there, Missy!
            You know that Christmas Trees make even you jolly when all lit up!

            Good One, Mandy! Keep 'em coming!
            LOL
            . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
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            • LadyEye
              General & Forum Moderator

              • Jun 2006
              • 10526

              #7
              Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

              Originally posted by Vasili
              Oh, hush there, Missy!
              You know that Christmas Trees make even you jolly when all lit up!

              Good One, Mandy! Keep 'em coming!
              LOL

              aha ... you are so funny sometimes Vasili ....you light me up, or am I just having a holly jolly good time ... (I can only imagine this may get worse in the coming days of the holiday that nears us ... lol)

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              • Vasili
                Moderator

                • Mar 2006
                • 14683

                #8
                Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

                methinks you need some serious doting attention and to be treated to a personal retreat to rejuvenate you...body and soul........someone to whisk you away and make you feel whole....

                (and lay off the candy canes, Darling, they are making you so sugar-wired your twinkling Eye is shooting stars!) LOL
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                • SChajin
                  Major General

                  • Jan 2006
                  • 2792

                  #9
                  Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

                  Loved it Mandy
                  Sharon Chajin

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                  • LadyEye
                    General & Forum Moderator

                    • Jun 2006
                    • 10526

                    #10
                    Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

                    Originally posted by Vasili
                    methinks you need some serious doting attention and to be treated to a personal retreat to rejuvenate you...body and soul........someone to whisk you away and make you feel whole....

                    (and lay off the candy canes, Darling, they are making you so sugar-wired your twinkling Eye is shooting stars!) LOL

                    Retreat ... indeed ... Eye have my Eye on A Personal Retreat, Truly Personal, It's on An Island, Just Waiting to be Famed, oh my, now that's shooting for the stars and is darn near burning my eye out ... kind of like that yacht you shoot for .... not really a fan of candy canes but it might be those balls you made keeping me twinkling lol ....... so what about the blueberries?

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                    • MandyN
                      Major

                      • Jan 2006
                      • 397

                      #11
                      Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

                      Glad you all liked the joke... I know it made me smile.

                      Cheers!
                      I Sing For My Soul... la, la, la...

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                      • nlnieu16
                        Major

                        • Jul 2006
                        • 264

                        #12
                        Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

                        LOL, I always forget jokes but try to keep this in mind !
                        www.jaspernieuwenhuizen.nl
                        www.jaspernieuwenhuizen.com

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                        • MandyN
                          Major

                          • Jan 2006
                          • 397

                          #13
                          Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

                          I am going to buy our Christmas Tree today... and I can't get this joke out of my mind... I don't think I will look at the Tree the same way again...

                          Question: We now know what the tree is meant to represent and also the decorative balls on the tree... but how on earth do you explain what all the presents are underneath?????? Anyone have a clue?
                          I Sing For My Soul... la, la, la...

                          Comment

                          • LadyEye
                            General & Forum Moderator

                            • Jun 2006
                            • 10526

                            #14
                            Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

                            Originally posted by MandyN
                            I am going to buy our Christmas Tree today... and I can't get this joke out of my mind... I don't think I will look at the Tree the same way again...

                            Question: We now know what the tree is meant to represent and also the decorative balls on the tree... but how on earth do you explain what all the presents are underneath?????? Anyone have a clue?

                            lol .... hmmm .... I am going to venture a guess ... I am going to say that the presents are a distraction for the ladies, for if we are all absorbed in the presents we won't notice their decorative balls .... lol .... just another way of 'keeping us happy' .... do u think?

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                            • MandyN
                              Major

                              • Jan 2006
                              • 397

                              #15
                              Re: A joke to make you smile: Christmas Trees and Oinions

                              lmao... that sounds just about right... lol
                              I Sing For My Soul... la, la, la...

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