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Newfoundland Diary
Hi everybody, received this email the other day from a newfoundlander and decided to post the edited version.....lol
DEAR DIARY:
AUG.1
Moved to our new home in Newfoundland. It is so beautiful here. The people
are so nice. The town is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered
with snow.
I LOVE IT HERE!
Sept. 25
Newfoundland is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning
all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride
through the hills and saw some moose. They are so big and graceful.
Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be
paradise.
I LOVE IT HERE!
Oct. 1
Moose season is open now. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an
elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will
snow soon.
I LOVE IT HERE!
DEC. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white.It
looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and
shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the
snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful
place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony.
I LOVE IT HERE!
DEC. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again that
rascal. A winter wonderland.
I LOVE IT HERE!
DEC. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work
this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. F@#!ing Snowplow!
DEC. 22
More of that white **** fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from
shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm
done shoveling.
That A#?hole!
DEC. 25
"White Christmas" my busted ass. Mother f@#!ing snow. If ever get my hands
on that s-o-b who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the
dumb @#$!!???. Don't know why they don't use more salt on this f@#!ing ice.
DEC. 28
More of the same **** last night. Been inside since Christmas Day except for
when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white ****. The weatherman says expect another 25 centimetres of this **** tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 25 centimetres is?
JAN. 1
Happy F@#?ing New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN).We got 60 f@#?ing centimetres of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 1st of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and **** for brains had the nerve to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the **** he plowed into my driveway. I brokethe 7th shovel over his f@#?ing head!
JAN.4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a moose ran out in front of the car and I hit the f@#/er! Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last September!
MAY 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is
rotting away from all the f@#?ing salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of ****!
MAY 10
Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right f@#?ing
mind would want to live in the God forsaken Province of Newfoundland!
DEAR DIARY:
AUG.1
Moved to our new home in Newfoundland. It is so beautiful here. The people
are so nice. The town is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered
with snow.
I LOVE IT HERE!
Sept. 25
Newfoundland is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning
all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride
through the hills and saw some moose. They are so big and graceful.
Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be
paradise.
I LOVE IT HERE!
Oct. 1
Moose season is open now. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an
elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will
snow soon.
I LOVE IT HERE!
DEC. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white.It
looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and
shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the
snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful
place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony.
I LOVE IT HERE!
DEC. 12
More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again that
rascal. A winter wonderland.
I LOVE IT HERE!
DEC. 19
Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work
this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. F@#!ing Snowplow!
DEC. 22
More of that white **** fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from
shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm
done shoveling.
That A#?hole!
DEC. 25
"White Christmas" my busted ass. Mother f@#!ing snow. If ever get my hands
on that s-o-b who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the
dumb @#$!!???. Don't know why they don't use more salt on this f@#!ing ice.
DEC. 28
More of the same **** last night. Been inside since Christmas Day except for
when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white ****. The weatherman says expect another 25 centimetres of this **** tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 25 centimetres is?
JAN. 1
Happy F@#?ing New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN).We got 60 f@#?ing centimetres of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 1st of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and **** for brains had the nerve to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the **** he plowed into my driveway. I brokethe 7th shovel over his f@#?ing head!
JAN.4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a moose ran out in front of the car and I hit the f@#/er! Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last September!
MAY 3
Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is
rotting away from all the f@#?ing salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of ****!
MAY 10
Moved to Florida today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right f@#?ing
mind would want to live in the God forsaken Province of Newfoundland!
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