Advice from a friend..

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  • larazovich
    General

    • Jul 2006
    • 5811

    Advice from a friend..

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.

    5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. This should reduce your inclination to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

    8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

    In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape.
    If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40.
    If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.


    9. Remember these things:
    Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

    Thought for the day:

    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES . . . THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS
    Liz
    www.sebastopolparty.com
    www.raynordescendents.com

    Ring the bells that still can ring
  • kassi59
    Major General

    • Nov 2005
    • 2771

    #2
    Re: Advice from a friend..

    Thats a reallly good one Liz!...lol

    Comment

    • LadyEye
      General & Forum Moderator

      • Jun 2006
      • 10526

      #3
      Re: Advice from a friend..

      lol cute Liz ... should have put up the warning though "Do not try this at home" lol

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      • C L
        General

        • Jul 2006
        • 5561

        #4
        Re: Advice from a friend..

        lol Liz

        Comment

        • nlnieu16
          Major

          • Jul 2006
          • 264

          #5
          Re: Advice from a friend..

          Liz, ha ha, great ! Esp the one about the toilet and the sink !
          www.jaspernieuwenhuizen.nl
          www.jaspernieuwenhuizen.com

          Comment

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