Am I the only one?

[karel]

Re: Am I the only one?

Now he has something to relate to instead of all of us Merry people! lol

I am merry...........honest, usually around the 2nd of january lol.

[asirimarco]

Re: Am I the only one?

very cute - choked on my coffee laughing
ann

[choco777]

Re: Am I the only one?

Any Anxiety in the interim?

[C L]

Re: Am I the only one?

Christmas

Subject: The Office Party
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't Be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.

Happy now?

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days are so short this time of year - or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I miss anything?

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess-worshipping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks. Okay???

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
Date: December 9
RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?

FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party

Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your freaking salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now!

FROM: Teri Bishops, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward Your cards to her at the sanatorium.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
We hope that this change does not offend anyone.

Italian: Buone Feste Natalizie

[beegud2]

Re: Am I the only one?

LOL...CL...good one...haha ( or is that ho ho )..MErry X-MAs ALLL

[Vasili]

Re: Am I the only one?

I think Holly nailed it.

ANY Holiday worth celebrating revolves around heart-felt realities, and as Bethers alluded, they should be visible year-round.

Christmas is all about Love, Forgiveness, Redemption, and Hope.

Personally, I cherish these, and strive to celebrate them all year long in everyone I have chosen to include in my life, whether or not I can find parking or stand in line longer than usual!

[Dream Lady]

Re: Am I the only one?

CL....Where do you come up with these! I love it! So typical in this day and age!

[VodaHost]

Re: Am I the only one?

I love Christmas.

[Bethers]

Re: Am I the only one?

:) ***** - that's cuz you're a kid yourself!!!

[Vasili]

Re: Am I the only one?

So, Boss.......where's our presents?
We've all been VERY good this year, and I know there are some of us who could really use a Holiday $30 coupon!!!

LOL
(Good to see you back in town MD....are you going to have an avatar with a Santa hat this year?)

[C L]

Re: Am I the only one?

Presents? Santa VodaHost?

lol Dreamlady

[C L]

Re: Am I the only one?

Twas the Night Before Christmas 2006

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves,"
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid.
The runners had been removed from his sleigh,
The rust was termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened
His fur trimmed red suit was called, "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
Who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life.
Joined a self-help group, packed and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur
Which means nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic
No candy or sweet...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
No fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were the Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was on ecological
No baseball, no football, someone could get hurt,
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe,
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed.
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've to to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion.
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, its price beyond worth
May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.

India"Tamil Nadu - Christmas Vaazthukkal "

[lovethatbluegrassmusic]

Re: Am I the only one?

Say what you will, but Christmas does give us, and all the little people,
something out of the ordinary to look forward to at the end of the year.

I think we'd all agree though, that it has become a bit too commercialized.

You don't have to participate in the commercialization. That is, if you
really want to let people know you think about them, and want to avoid
the shopping craze, then just let people know where you stand. You
might even consider making something to give instead of buying things
or just calling the people close to you and really wish them the best to
come and telling them that they are important to you. Wow, isn't that
the Christmas Spirit?

[Dream Lady]

Re: Am I the only one?

Another great one CL!!

[C L]

Re: Am I the only one?

Say what you will, but Christmas does give us, and all the little people,
something out of the ordinary to look forward to at the end of the year.

I think we'd all agree though, that it has become a bit too commercialized.

You don't have to participate in the commercialization. That is, if you
really want to let people know you think about them, and want to avoid
the shopping craze, then just let people know where you stand. You
might even consider making something to give instead of buying things
or just calling the people close to you and really wish them the best to
come and telling them that they are important to you. Wow, isn't that
the Christmas Spirit?

You are so right Brad.......homemade gifts are the best!!!!




My dear friends,


Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes.

You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the instructions below:

How to make bedroom slippers

You need four maxi pads to make a pair. Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top. Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part. Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygenic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light and Get out the Sand Bags

I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself....

Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you.