Am I the only one?

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  • C L
    General

    • Jul 2006
    • 5561

    #46
    Re: Am I the only one?

    There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm
    chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

    Dutch: Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast

    Comment

    • Vasili
      Moderator

      • Mar 2006
      • 14683

      #47
      Re: Am I the only one?

      Even hungry wolves know when to steer clear of two blondes with an axe...

      LOL
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      • C L
        General

        • Jul 2006
        • 5561

        #48
        Re: Am I the only one?

        Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
        Editorial Page, New York Sun, 1897

        We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

        Dear Editor,

        I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

        Virginia O'Hanlon
        Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

        Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

        Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

        You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

        No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
        Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!


        Chinese: (Cantonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun

        Comment

        • C L
          General

          • Jul 2006
          • 5561

          #49
          Re: Am I the only one?

          Originally posted by Vasili
          Even hungry wolves know when to steer clear of two blondes with an axe...

          LOL
          Would they be decorated wolves?

          Comment

          • LadyEye
            General & Forum Moderator

            • Jun 2006
            • 10526

            #50
            Re: Am I the only one?

            Please don't be sending me any of those "homemade gifts" CL

            (Eye can't believe you posted that, lmao)

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            • C L
              General

              • Jul 2006
              • 5561

              #51
              Re: Am I the only one?

              Wrapping Presents With A Cat

              1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

              2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.

              3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.

              4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

              5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

              6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.

              7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.

              8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.

              9. Remove present from bag.

              10. Remove cat from bag.

              11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

              12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

              13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.

              14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.

              15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of.

              16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.

              17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.

              18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.

              19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.

              20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

              21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.

              22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.

              23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.

              24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.

              25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.

              26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

              27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

              28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.

              29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.

              30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock.

              31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!)

              32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.

              33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.

              34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

              35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion.

              36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

              37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.

              38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.

              39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the darn thing for you.
              African/ Eritrean/ Tigrinja: Rehus-Beal-Ledeats

              Comment

              • Vasili
                Moderator

                • Mar 2006
                • 14683

                #52
                Re: Am I the only one?

                Whew!
                Such efforts trying to make other people happy, when a cat can do it for us every time with a simple brush against our leg!
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                Comment

                • LadyEye
                  General & Forum Moderator

                  • Jun 2006
                  • 10526

                  #53
                  Re: Am I the only one?

                  Awe yes, the purrfect kitty ... but it is all about the "Mad Dog Rush" now ...

                  The streets are jammed with traffic, construction workers still haven't given up for the year to make matters worse, the cars that are parked on the side of the street feel as though it is their right to just pull out in front of you and then glance a mean look at you because you were too close to them.

                  The stores are literally ripped apart, ramsacked, and the cashiers hired to help with the demand have absolutely no clue, the younger generation operating these check outs are mighty calm though, why they move with almost no intention to do so, they literally have absolutely no stress themselves, or any idea that moving things so slow creates a larger line up and frustrated shoppers ... but they just continue at the same speed "slow" ....

                  Yes it's all about the "Mad Dog Rush" now ... the season is here.

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                  • Vasili
                    Moderator

                    • Mar 2006
                    • 14683

                    #54
                    Re: Am I the only one?

                    Originally posted by LadyEye
                    Yes it's all about the "Mad Dog Rush" now ... the season is here.
                    I agree. It bites.
                    WOOF!
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                    • LadyEye
                      General & Forum Moderator

                      • Jun 2006
                      • 10526

                      #55
                      Re: Am I the only one?

                      Originally posted by Vasili
                      I agree. It bites.
                      WOOF!

                      lol .... Fooled me Vasili ... I thought you were more the "Bow Wow" type!!

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                      • Vasili
                        Moderator

                        • Mar 2006
                        • 14683

                        #56
                        Re: Am I the only one?

                        LOLOLOLOL

                        No, Honey......I am definitely not a small dog, but not too big to jump up on your lap!
                        (I think it is being licked all over that you like the best about me anyway....)
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                        • LadyEye
                          General & Forum Moderator

                          • Jun 2006
                          • 10526

                          #57
                          Re: Am I the only one?

                          Originally posted by Vasili
                          LOLOLOLOL

                          No, Honey......I am definitely not a small dog, but not too big to jump up on your lap!
                          (I think it is being licked all over that you like the best about me anyway....)


                          lol .... roflmao, I am darn near speechless ....

                          oh no I am not .............. hee hee

                          Not a small dog, and not a big dog, so I'd say you're a hot dog, and there is no better "lap dog" than a "hot dog" .... you know what they say Vasili, "It's a Dog's World"!! Woof!! :)

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                          • choco777
                            Brigadier General

                            • Apr 2006
                            • 1526

                            #58
                            Re: Am I the only one?

                            Vasili/EYE.....Wow, I'm going crazy trying to read beween the lies...or I mean lines
                            Choco777
                            www.mayatabasco.com


                            Comment

                            • LadyEye
                              General & Forum Moderator

                              • Jun 2006
                              • 10526

                              #59
                              Re: Am I the only one?

                              Originally posted by choco777
                              Vasili/EYE.....Wow, I'm going crazy trying to read beween the lies...or I mean lines

                              Howdy Choco .... You just need a few more of those Margaritas Choco, those lines will start to blend in after awhile, lol .............!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Be careful of those "Foot Long Dogs" too Choco .... they really woof!!
                              lol

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                              • Vasili
                                Moderator

                                • Mar 2006
                                • 14683

                                #60
                                Re: Am I the only one?

                                After a Mexican dog, you'd bark too, right George???
                                LOL

                                The only ones you see down South are the ones with too little meat on them....to much to bother with.....

                                Uuf! Sorry, G-Man.....I'll be nice!
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