happy to be a MAN

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  • johnkinyua
    Private First Class

    • Dec 2006
    • 6

    happy to be a MAN

    Men Are Just Happier People

    What do you expect from such simple creatures?


    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be President.

    You can never be pregnant.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. - You can wear NO shirt
    to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    The world is your urinal.

    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
    is just too icky.

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    Same work, more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding dress 25000 bob. Tuxedo rental-7000/=.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

    New ***** don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    One mood all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    You know stuff about tanks.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is a 100 bob for a three-pack.

    Three pairs of ***** are more than enough.

    You almost never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life.

    Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    One wallet and one pair of ***** one color for all seasons.

    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

    You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


    johnkinyua
  • BLK306
    Second Lieutenant

    • Sep 2006
    • 144

    #2
    Re: happy to be a MAN


    The garage is all yours.

    The world is your urinal.


    I like these ones the most.
    ID: 11830
    www.steadyracing.net

    Forum Menace!

    Comment

    • choco777
      Brigadier General

      • Apr 2006
      • 1526

      #3
      Re: happy to be a MAN

      Guess that about sums it up, til Lady EYE sees this.
      Choco777
      www.mayatabasco.com


      Comment

      • asirimarco
        Brigadier General

        • Jun 2006
        • 1208

        #4
        Re: happy to be a MAN

        very funny and how true - especially the hair style
        Ann
        www.MovingOn1.com - My Travel
        www.BeadedCustomDesigns.com - Jewelry
        www.FantasyManorArtStudio.com - Leather Art

        Comment

        • limebrook1
          Brigadier General

          • Jun 2005
          • 1583

          #5
          Re: happy to be a MAN

          Hmm - sadly true!
          Trish
          www.Limebrook.com
          www.MountainWalk.co.uk
          www.MyBeardedDragons.co.uk
          www.TucsonForBeginners.com
          www.Pets4kids.info

          Comment

          • C L
            General

            • Jul 2006
            • 5561

            #6
            Re: happy to be a MAN

            lol Some funnies there, however, Margaret Thatcher was female Prime Minister and I believe there is a lady president in the East somewhere,...all in all funny list, thanks for sharing.

            Comment

            • LadyEye
              General & Forum Moderator

              • Jun 2006
              • 10526

              #7
              Re: happy to be a MAN

              Originally posted by choco777
              Guess that about sums it up, til Lady EYE sees this.
              Eye see you Choco .... well you've got me wishing I had a nice salty rimmed margarita to answer this one, roflmao .....

              Just for you Choco!!

              Your last name stays put - Couldn't agree with you anymore, for some can barely change their shorts let alone their name .....

              The garage is all yours - And sometimes we let you in the house!!

              Wedding plans take care of themselves - Just pay the bills honey!! Spending money is a womans job!!!!!!!!!

              You can never be Pregnant - Debatable, but you really couldn't handle this, what's that, 5 days in bed with a toothache? hmmm .... better see Dr. Love ...

              T-Shirts - lol, totally outdated, check out the traffic jam video ... designed especially for the "male" driver.

              The World is Your Urinal - oh yes, unsanitary to say the very least, I wonder if this relates to the "Bird Flu" our nation is seeing so much of .... lol

              Same hair style lasts forever - Yeah, and most receive polish for xmas ... lol .... oops, sshhh on this one ...... lol

              You can play with toys all your life - The Real biggie here ... "Boys and their Toys" - yeah you can but, your "Better Half" can always take them away ....


              Carry on Men!!
              Cheers!!

              VodaHost

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              • choco777
                Brigadier General

                • Apr 2006
                • 1526

                #8
                Re: happy to be a MAN

                If the world is truly OUR world...what is all the complaining about bad AIM???? Not another OHHH it hurts complaint...do like the Indians dig a hole line it with pine needles stand over hole and then get back to work...simple enough!
                Choco777
                www.mayatabasco.com


                Comment

                • VodaHost
                  General & Forum Administrator

                  • Mar 2005
                  • 12356

                  #9
                  Re: happy to be a MAN

                  Being a man is great....Would not trade for all the tea in China.

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                  • karel
                    Brigadier General

                    • Feb 2006
                    • 1178

                    #10
                    Re: happy to be a MAN

                    Being a man is great....Would not trade for all the tea in China.
                    Not a fan of tea, but I know what you mean.

                    One reason above all the others added together.

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                    • nlnieu16
                      Major

                      • Jul 2006
                      • 264

                      #11
                      Re: happy to be a MAN

                      It's a man's world !
                      www.jaspernieuwenhuizen.nl
                      www.jaspernieuwenhuizen.com

                      Comment

                      • LadyEye
                        General & Forum Moderator

                        • Jun 2006
                        • 10526

                        #12
                        Re: happy to be a MAN

                        You men are really too funny .... "It's a Man's World" .... roflmao ....

                        Ha ha ha ....

                        When God Created Man - "She was only joking" .......


                        hee hee heee ......

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                        • Dream Lady
                          Major General

                          • Feb 2006
                          • 2036

                          #13
                          Re: happy to be a MAN

                          Originally posted by LadyEye
                          You men are really too funny .... "It's a Man's World" .... roflmao ....

                          Ha ha ha ....

                          When God Created Man - "She was only joking" .......


                          hee hee heee ......
                          Or how about this one!!

                          EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY

                          "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and
                          sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is
                          wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me.
                          The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them
                          with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.
                          They are a real pain," reported Eve.

                          And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her
                          body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc..........She felt
                          that having only two breasts might leave her body more symmetrically
                          balanced," as she put it.

                          "That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot
                          at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you
                          needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it
                          up right away."

                          And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it
                          into the bushes.



                          Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden
                          of Eden.


                          "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

                          "Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one more oversight on your
                          part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and
                          the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so
                          alone."

                          God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are
                          right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will
                          immediately create a man from a part of you.





                          Now let's see............Where
                          did I put that useless boob??????"

                          Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that **** about the
                          rib!!
                          Cindy Smentowski

                          Comment

                          • LadyEye
                            General & Forum Moderator

                            • Jun 2006
                            • 10526

                            #14
                            Re: happy to be a MAN

                            lol Cindy .....

                            Maybe that is why men are so partial to the tv - you know the "Boob Tube" ... lol and what about the "Tele Bubbies" .... roflmao .....

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                            • MandyN
                              Major

                              • Jan 2006
                              • 397

                              #15
                              Re: happy to be a MAN

                              LMAO with LadyEye and Dream Lady... oh so true... lol

                              Only a man could actually be grateful about living in a urinal... lol God has such a good sense of humour... lol
                              Isn't there a saying about happy pigs... lol... how does that go again? Happy as a pig in shhh...umm... mud, that's it! ... lmao
                              I Sing For My Soul... la, la, la...

                              Comment

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