Holiday Eating Tips

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  • larazovich
    General

    • Jul 2006
    • 5811

    Holiday Eating Tips

    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

    2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. it's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

    7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of *****. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

    8. Same for pies. *****. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two *****s and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

    9. Did someone mention fruit cake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

    10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
    Liz
    www.sebastopolparty.com
    www.raynordescendents.com

    Ring the bells that still can ring
  • Vasili
    Moderator

    • Mar 2006
    • 14683

    #2
    Re: Holiday Eating Tips

    I am not allowed to eat until Valentine's Day.

    Apparently, I've already bitten off too many heads.....(a new twist on "more than I can chew"??)
    . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
    * Success Is Potential Realized *

    Comment

    • C L
      General

      • Jul 2006
      • 5561

      #3
      Re: Holiday Eating Tips

      Oh Liz, too funny.....I'm going take some of this with me, lol

      Comment

      • LadyEye
        General & Forum Moderator

        • Jun 2006
        • 10526

        #4
        Re: Holiday Eating Tips

        Love it Liz, that is awesome ... the opener liner had my attention and you kept it ... excellent one!!

        #7. (oooh, I can relate to that, I've even found my own corner, with the lights out, lol .... oh the good old days!!)

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        Comment

        • darklight
          Brigadier General

          • Jul 2006
          • 1309

          #5
          Re: Holiday Eating Tips

          Lol you totally rock for posting that! lol. I think Im going to print it out :)
          Regards
          Teri

          Comment

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