The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

A Dam shame our wonderful Earth is being covered with BS and tons of computer-generated legalese.......and I guess that answers the age-old question of what bears do in the woods....Whoops!


LOLOL

[bill2006]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Lol, now that is good!

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Shopping For Cars.....

A young lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse and spotted the most beautiful, perfectly-loaded Lexus.
She walked over to inspect it more closely. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her.

Very embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed. There, standing right behind her was a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good Day, Madame. How may I help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you're gonna s*** when you hear the price."

[choco777]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Very Good!!!!

[larazovich]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, Do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't Think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the Field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and Give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for Sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry And enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why:
For the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves;
For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family;
For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren;
and for the last ten years- -

[larazovich]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

We sit on the front porch and bark at everyone

Life has now been explained to you

[allstarfaces]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

i put some tiolet cleaner in the loo the other day then flushed it so then as you probably know it got all bubbles in the loo as it does then i went out of the room and came back a few mins later, then as i went down towards the loo to clean some more i sneezed lol and yes you geussed it my face was full of bubbles and well ............ i donrt want to think, good job i was alone

thought you mite laff at th3 thought of me look an idiot

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Liz scores!

LOL

And check out your Forum, Gary.....see?

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

CONFESSION


A retired Italian wine maker went to the village church to make his confession for the first time in many decades.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, â€Å"Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! You have no need to confess it."

"It's worse than that, Father," he continued. "She quickly started to repay me with sexual favors."

"People in wartime sometimes act in ways they wouldn't under normal conditions. If you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. May I ask a question?"

"What, my son?"

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

[LadyEye]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

lol ........ be careful of what lurks in your attic .. lol

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

lol ........ be careful of what lurks in your attic .. lol

...or in your heart?

[larazovich]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Three statisticians went duck hunting.

A duck was approaching and the first statistician shot, and missed the duck by being a foot too high.

The second shot and was a foot too low.

The third cried, "We hit it!"

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

LOL
Sounds vaguely familiar.....Oh! That's right! That is our policy on Iraq!!

Uff Da!

[LadyEye]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!



There was a family gathering, with all generations around

the table. Mischievous teenagers put a ****** tablet into

Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused

himself because he had to go to the bathroom.


When he returned his trousers were wet all over.



"What happened, Grandpa?" he is asked by his concerned

children.



"Well," he answered, "I don't really know. I had to go

to the bathroom. So, I took it out and started to pee, but

then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back!"

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

ARGHH!
Just don't sit next to Grandpa!

(or shake his hand)

Good One, General! LOLOL