The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

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  • Vasili
    Moderator

    • Mar 2006
    • 14683

    #16
    Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

    A Dam shame our wonderful Earth is being covered with BS and tons of computer-generated legalese.......and I guess that answers the age-old question of what bears do in the woods....Whoops!


    LOLOL
    . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
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    • bill2006
      Lieutenant General

      • May 2006
      • 3421

      #17
      Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

      Lol, now that is good!
      Bill
      www.blueearthtea.com
      www.ftaaconsulting.com
      www.iaval.com
      www.theemeraldbay.com

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      • Vasili
        Moderator

        • Mar 2006
        • 14683

        #18
        Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

        Shopping For Cars.....

        A young lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse and spotted the most beautiful, perfectly-loaded Lexus.
        She walked over to inspect it more closely. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her.

        Very embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed. There, standing right behind her was a salesman.
        With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good Day, Madame. How may I help you today?"
        Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

        Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you're gonna s*** when you hear the price."
        . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
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        • choco777
          Brigadier General

          • Apr 2006
          • 1526

          #19
          Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

          Very Good!!!!
          Choco777
          www.mayatabasco.com


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          • larazovich
            General

            • Jul 2006
            • 5811

            #20
            Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

            On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
            The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

            On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, Do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
            The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't Think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

            On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the Field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and Give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
            The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for Sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
            And God agreed again.

            On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry And enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

            Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"
            "Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

            So that is why:
            For the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves;
            For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family;
            For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren;
            and for the last ten years- -
            Liz
            www.sebastopolparty.com
            www.raynordescendents.com

            Ring the bells that still can ring

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            • larazovich
              General

              • Jul 2006
              • 5811

              #21
              Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

              We sit on the front porch and bark at everyone

              Life has now been explained to you
              Liz
              www.sebastopolparty.com
              www.raynordescendents.com

              Ring the bells that still can ring

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              • allstarfaces
                Brigadier General

                • Apr 2006
                • 1665

                #22
                Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

                i put some tiolet cleaner in the loo the other day then flushed it so then as you probably know it got all bubbles in the loo as it does then i went out of the room and came back a few mins later, then as i went down towards the loo to clean some more i sneezed lol and yes you geussed it my face was full of bubbles and well ............ i donrt want to think, good job i was alone

                thought you mite laff at th3 thought of me look an idiot
                The get vasili to join our forum campaign has begun



                www.thatgoodsite.com and our forum of fun also starring my hero vasili
                Weve got movies,arcade,radio,T.V,chat,music,funny vids,jokes and lots and lots of fun for free

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                • Vasili
                  Moderator

                  • Mar 2006
                  • 14683

                  #23
                  Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

                  Liz scores!

                  LOL

                  And check out your Forum, Gary.....see?
                  . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
                  * Success Is Potential Realized *

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                  • Vasili
                    Moderator

                    • Mar 2006
                    • 14683

                    #24
                    Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

                    CONFESSION


                    A retired Italian wine maker went to the village church to make his confession for the first time in many decades.

                    When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, â€Å"Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. I hid her in my attic."

                    The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! You have no need to confess it."

                    "It's worse than that, Father," he continued. "She quickly started to repay me with sexual favors."

                    "People in wartime sometimes act in ways they wouldn't under normal conditions. If you are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."

                    "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. May I ask a question?"

                    "What, my son?"

                    "Should I tell her the war is over?"
                    . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
                    * Success Is Potential Realized *

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                    • LadyEye
                      General & Forum Moderator

                      • Jun 2006
                      • 10526

                      #25
                      Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

                      lol ........ be careful of what lurks in your attic .. lol

                      VodaHost

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                      • Vasili
                        Moderator

                        • Mar 2006
                        • 14683

                        #26
                        Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

                        Originally posted by LadyEye
                        lol ........ be careful of what lurks in your attic .. lol
                        ...or in your heart?
                        . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
                        * Success Is Potential Realized *

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                        • larazovich
                          General

                          • Jul 2006
                          • 5811

                          #27
                          Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

                          Three statisticians went duck hunting.

                          A duck was approaching and the first statistician shot, and missed the duck by being a foot too high.

                          The second shot and was a foot too low.

                          The third cried, "We hit it!"
                          Liz
                          www.sebastopolparty.com
                          www.raynordescendents.com

                          Ring the bells that still can ring

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                          • Vasili
                            Moderator

                            • Mar 2006
                            • 14683

                            #28
                            Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

                            LOL
                            Sounds vaguely familiar.....Oh! That's right! That is our policy on Iraq!!

                            Uff Da!
                            . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
                            * Success Is Potential Realized *

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                            • LadyEye
                              General & Forum Moderator

                              • Jun 2006
                              • 10526

                              #29
                              Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!



                              There was a family gathering, with all generations around

                              the table. Mischievous teenagers put a ****** tablet into

                              Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused

                              himself because he had to go to the bathroom.


                              When he returned his trousers were wet all over.



                              "What happened, Grandpa?" he is asked by his concerned

                              children.



                              "Well," he answered, "I don't really know. I had to go

                              to the bathroom. So, I took it out and started to pee, but

                              then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back!"

                              VodaHost

                              Your Website People!
                              1-302-283-3777 North America / International
                              02036089024 / United Kingdom
                              291916438 / Australia

                              ------------------------

                              Top 3 Best Sellers

                              Web Hosting - Unlimited disk space & bandwidth.

                              Reseller Hosting - Start your own web hosting business.

                              Search Engine & Directory Submission - 300 directories + (Google,Yahoo,Bing)


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                              • Vasili
                                Moderator

                                • Mar 2006
                                • 14683

                                #30
                                Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

                                ARGHH!
                                Just don't sit next to Grandpa!

                                (or shake his hand)

                                Good One, General! LOLOL
                                . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
                                * Success Is Potential Realized *

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