The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Totally scary!
made me just realize the fact I am well over 40! I remember going to that live concert, and Saturday I am going to my 30th High School reunion no less!

[karenwms63]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Ok...you are too twisted for me...lol...I'm gettin it and ur friends aint! LOL

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband to 'Please be gentle; I'm
still a virgin.'
'What ?' said the puzzled groom.
'How can that be if you've been married ten times?'


'Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it
was going to be.


'Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was
supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.


'Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out
diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.


' Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he
didn't know when he would be able to deliver


'Husband #5 was an Engineer ; he understood the basic process but he wanted
three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.


'Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure
whether it was his job or not.


'Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.


'Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.


'Husband #9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
.
'Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector ; all he ever did was........... God I miss him !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
.
'But now that I've married you, I'm so excited'.
'Wonderful', said the husband, 'but why ?


'You're with the ' GOVERNMENT '. . .
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED.'

[karenwms63]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

No wonder he had to start his own club...lol...go Mike!

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

"Clubbie" is too close to that "Cubbie" dude on Mickey Mouse for me.

But, then again .... my Ex used to have a Hubby Clubbie to keep me in line, so I dunno....

[raganok]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

'You're with the ' GOVERNMENT '. . .
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED.'

[/quote]
LOL... NICE ONE VASILI......ITS TRUE , GOVERMENT ALLWAYS TRY TO SCREWE YOU (SPECIALLY IN MEXICO) LOL.....

[karenwms63]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Who says you have to name a country...last time I checked....all the countries do it...lol...

[raganok]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

who Says You Have To Name A Country...last Time I Checked....all The Countries Do It...lol...

Lol But I Think Mexico Its One Of The Worst Goverments All They Doits Screwe You Up.......the Richest Man In Thew World Is Mexican Can You Picture One Billionare And Millions Of People Live A Miserable Life. Jobs Are Cheap, Food Its Expensive Etc. Etc..... My Opinion, Lol....

[karenwms63]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

How Marriage works...

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.

The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.

'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer.

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India ,etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious.... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise.

OK?' You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words? Drink your f***ing beer in your G*d*mn frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't f***ing going anywhere! Got it, A**hole?'

..........and, they lived happily ever after.


Now, isn't that a sweet story?

[karenwms63]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

teeheehee

[D'son]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Karen you hit that right in the head with that one!!!

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

Somehow it reminds me of "Candid Camera" meets "Jerry Springer" .....

[Vasili]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, Perfect timing. You're just like Frank
Passenger: Who?
Cabbie: Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.
Passenger: There are always a few clouds over everybody
Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.
Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right
Passenger: Wow, some guy then.
Cabbie: He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid Traffic jams Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, s h o e s highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.
Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?
Cabbie: Well, I never actually met Frank, he died. I married his freaking nag of a widow.

[karenwms63]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!

[C L]

Re: The Smile Factory :: VodaJokes & More!