Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • LadyEye
    General & Forum Moderator

    • Jun 2006
    • 10526

    Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

    Had to share these ..... "Till Death do you part" lol

    You have two choices in life:
    You can stay single and be miserable,
    or get married and wish you were dead.



    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

    "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
    "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."


    A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
    "Husband Wanted".

    Next day she received a hundred letters.

    They all said the same thing:

    "You can have mine."


    When a woman steals your husband,
    there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.





    A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finish



    A little boy asked his father,

    "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

    Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."




    A young son asked,

    "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
    a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
    Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
    (Maybe ManAlien can tell us if this is true, lol)







    Then there was a woman who said,


    "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
    and by then, it was too late."








    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.




    If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.





    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.




    First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"



    Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."





    " A Woman's Prayer:

    Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "




    Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."


















    VodaHost

    Your Website People!
    1-302-283-3777 North America / International
    02036089024 / United Kingdom
    291916438 / Australia

    ------------------------

    Top 3 Best Sellers

    Web Hosting - Unlimited disk space & bandwidth.

    Reseller Hosting - Start your own web hosting business.

    Search Engine & Directory Submission - 300 directories + (Google,Yahoo,Bing)


  • Astraltraveller
    General

    • Jul 2006
    • 4006

    #2
    Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

    Ho my ho my....LayEye they are good.......lol.....

    A young son asked,

    "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
    a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
    Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
    (Maybe ManAlien can tell us if this is true, lol)


    Its sound familiar....I'm still trying to know mine after 18 years of marrage .....lol
    Just kidding ...... she's a great lady.....lol



    Manny(THE ALIEN LEADER)
    Click Here to See the Vodaliens Album & Join the Club!! Sendyour personal photo to be alienated to the Vodalien Group


    www.astralengineering.net
    www.masqueradecreations.com

    Comment

    • limebrook1
      Brigadier General

      • Jun 2005
      • 1583

      #3
      Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

      LOL! Very good! I liked them all - espeically the last one!!
      Trish
      www.Limebrook.com
      www.MountainWalk.co.uk
      www.MyBeardedDragons.co.uk
      www.TucsonForBeginners.com
      www.Pets4kids.info

      Comment

      • Dream Lady
        Major General

        • Feb 2006
        • 2036

        #4
        Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

        You out did yourself Holly!! Great ones..I can relate to all of them!
        Cindy Smentowski

        Comment

        • C L
          General

          • Jul 2006
          • 5561

          #5
          Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

          lol Holly

          Comment

          • Vasili
            Moderator

            • Mar 2006
            • 14683

            #6
            Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

            "JollyHolly" my butt!

            A little bitterness going on there, Missy? You should get together with Sharon and compare stories.....My! That would be a full afternooon, no doubt!


            Funny though...Why???
            LOL
            . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
            * Success Is Potential Realized *

            Comment

            • LadyEye
              General & Forum Moderator

              • Jun 2006
              • 10526

              #7
              Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

              lol Vasili

              Is that bitter, butter or better ....

              Just because my middle name is Elizabeth and I've already married 9 times, really doesn't leave me bitter only makes it better for the butter .... lol
              Now how did u know ..... are you reading "The Frank" again .... geesh .... lol

              VodaHost

              Your Website People!
              1-302-283-3777 North America / International
              02036089024 / United Kingdom
              291916438 / Australia

              ------------------------

              Top 3 Best Sellers

              Web Hosting - Unlimited disk space & bandwidth.

              Reseller Hosting - Start your own web hosting business.

              Search Engine & Directory Submission - 300 directories + (Google,Yahoo,Bing)


              Comment

              • bill2006
                Lieutenant General

                • May 2006
                • 3421

                #8
                Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

                Lol, very good.
                Bill
                www.blueearthtea.com
                www.ftaaconsulting.com
                www.iaval.com
                www.theemeraldbay.com

                Comment

                • choco777
                  Brigadier General

                  • Apr 2006
                  • 1526

                  #9
                  Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

                  Well,well,well more stick humor LE. Really good though. You already killed my appetite for spaghetti.
                  Choco777
                  www.mayatabasco.com


                  Comment

                  • LadyEye
                    General & Forum Moderator

                    • Jun 2006
                    • 10526

                    #10
                    Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

                    Originally posted by choco777
                    Well,well,well more stick humor LE. Really good though. You already killed my appetite for spaghetti.

                    lol Choco .... it's all about the "Tequila" now ..... liquid diets, lol .....

                    VodaHost

                    Your Website People!
                    1-302-283-3777 North America / International
                    02036089024 / United Kingdom
                    291916438 / Australia

                    ------------------------

                    Top 3 Best Sellers

                    Web Hosting - Unlimited disk space & bandwidth.

                    Reseller Hosting - Start your own web hosting business.

                    Search Engine & Directory Submission - 300 directories + (Google,Yahoo,Bing)


                    Comment

                    • SChajin
                      Major General

                      • Jan 2006
                      • 2792

                      #11
                      Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

                      What is this Mr V..............Have I told my stories?...Your a pip....LOL
                      Sharon Chajin

                      Comment

                      • LadyEye
                        General & Forum Moderator

                        • Jun 2006
                        • 10526

                        #12
                        Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

                        Originally posted by SChajin
                        What is this Mr V..............Have I told my stories?...Your a pip....LOL

                        lol Sharon ... psst ... let's go to the ladies room together ... lol cause me tinks you forgot a p .... lmao

                        VodaHost

                        Your Website People!
                        1-302-283-3777 North America / International
                        02036089024 / United Kingdom
                        291916438 / Australia

                        ------------------------

                        Top 3 Best Sellers

                        Web Hosting - Unlimited disk space & bandwidth.

                        Reseller Hosting - Start your own web hosting business.

                        Search Engine & Directory Submission - 300 directories + (Google,Yahoo,Bing)


                        Comment

                        • Vasili
                          Moderator

                          • Mar 2006
                          • 14683

                          #13
                          Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

                          Sharon...my good lady......I've not said anything that would besmirch your sterling reputation, nor give you cause to smack me one! LOL
                          I merely suggested that you would be able to appease some apparent frustrations held by our lovely JollyHolly with regard to "past flames" so to speak....

                          LOL
                          . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
                          * Success Is Potential Realized *

                          Comment

                          • LadyEye
                            General & Forum Moderator

                            • Jun 2006
                            • 10526

                            #14
                            Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

                            Originally posted by Vasili
                            Sharon...my good lady......I've not said anything that would besmirch your sterling reputation, nor give you cause to smack me one! LOL
                            I merely suggested that you would be able to appease some apparent frustrations held by our lovely JollyHolly with regard to "past flames" so to speak....

                            LOL

                            you gonna believe that Sharon .... come to the ladies room, lmao ....

                            VodaHost

                            Your Website People!
                            1-302-283-3777 North America / International
                            02036089024 / United Kingdom
                            291916438 / Australia

                            ------------------------

                            Top 3 Best Sellers

                            Web Hosting - Unlimited disk space & bandwidth.

                            Reseller Hosting - Start your own web hosting business.

                            Search Engine & Directory Submission - 300 directories + (Google,Yahoo,Bing)


                            Comment

                            • Vasili
                              Moderator

                              • Mar 2006
                              • 14683

                              #15
                              Re: Below the Belt ... lol - "On Marriage"

                              Looky HERE! Don't you believe any of that HollyFolly!

                              She just wants to get you in the restroom to see if yours are real....she wants to prove it to herself!

                              LOL



                              HA! Take THAT, you big HAM!
                              . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
                              * Success Is Potential Realized *

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X