New Book -

[kassi59]

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can
Be The Man Of YOUR House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on,
You need to know that I am the man of this house and my
word is Law.

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm
Finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will
Have the kind of lovin's that I want.

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You
Will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will
massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to Dress me
and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The f&^*ing funeral director would be my
First guess."

[larazovich]

Re: New Book -

well done, Kate!

[Astraltraveller]

Re: New Book -

Nice one Kate.....you see why we were all missing you.....you just keep them comming.......lmao

[bill2006]

Re: New Book -

Lol, very good.

[Girlonthehill]

Re: New Book -

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can
Be The Man Of YOUR House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on,
You need to know that I am the man of this house and my
word is Law.

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm
Finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will
Have the kind of lovin's that I want.

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You
Will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will
massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to Dress me
and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The f&^*ing funeral director would be my
First guess."

ROFLMBO!! I like that one, Kate! Nice to see you, btw. It's been a lowwwwwwng time. Lol

[davidundalicia]

Re: New Book -

Hi Kate, Welcome back, and as usual you are continuing to make us laugh....
nice one.

[Dream Lady]

Re: New Book -

I like that one Kate!! lol

[kassi59]

Re: New Book -

haha..thanx..I saw that and had to share with y'all...lol... just seemed too funny to not share..oh and my brother just sent me yet another!...
yea, thats my secret...lol


CAKE OR BED

A HUSBAND IS WATCHING A
FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

HONEY,
COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
"General Electric" WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE,

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE "WESTINGHOUSE "
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO

FINE, SHE SAYS
THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.

I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS.
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
"BUNNINGS" HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS....................................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.

HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID,
SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO...
DO YOU SEE "SARA LEE" WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!

[mark6110]

Re: New Book -

Great one Kate!
I was wondering where you were. Missed your humor and comments.
Hope all is well.
Mark

[Lincslady]

Re: New Book -

haha..thanx..I saw that and had to share with y'all...lol... just seemed too funny to not share..oh and my brother just sent me yet another!...
yea, thats my secret...lol


CAKE OR BED

A HUSBAND IS WATCHING A
FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

HONEY,
COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
"General Electric" WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE,

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE "WESTINGHOUSE "
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO

FINE, SHE SAYS
THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.

I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS.
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
"BUNNINGS" HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS....................................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.

HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID,
SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO...
DO YOU SEE "SARA LEE" WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!

hahahaha!

[C L]

Re: New Book -

lol Kate, some good ones