New Book -

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  • kassi59
    Major General

    • Nov 2005
    • 2771

    New Book -

    The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can
    Be The Man Of YOUR House."

    He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on,
    You need to know that I am the man of this house and my
    word is Law.

    You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm
    Finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

    After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will
    Have the kind of lovin's that I want.

    Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You
    Will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will
    massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to Dress me
    and comb my hair?"

    The wife replied, "The f&^*ing funeral director would be my
    First guess."
  • larazovich
    General

    • Jul 2006
    • 5811

    #2
    Re: New Book -

    well done, Kate!

    Liz
    www.sebastopolparty.com
    www.raynordescendents.com

    Ring the bells that still can ring

    Comment

    • Astraltraveller
      General

      • Jul 2006
      • 4006

      #3
      Re: New Book -

      Nice one Kate.....you see why we were all missing you.....you just keep them comming.......lmao

      Manny(THE ALIEN LEADER)
      Click Here to See the Vodaliens Album & Join the Club!! Sendyour personal photo to be alienated to the Vodalien Group


      www.astralengineering.net
      www.masqueradecreations.com

      Comment

      • bill2006
        Lieutenant General

        • May 2006
        • 3421

        #4
        Re: New Book -

        Lol, very good.
        Bill
        www.blueearthtea.com
        www.ftaaconsulting.com
        www.iaval.com
        www.theemeraldbay.com

        Comment

        • Girlonthehill
          General

          • Oct 2005
          • 4193

          #5
          Re: New Book -

          Originally posted by kassi59
          The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can
          Be The Man Of YOUR House."

          He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on,
          You need to know that I am the man of this house and my
          word is Law.

          You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm
          Finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

          After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will
          Have the kind of lovin's that I want.

          Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You
          Will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will
          massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to Dress me
          and comb my hair?"

          The wife replied, "The f&^*ing funeral director would be my
          First guess."
          ROFLMBO!! I like that one, Kate! Nice to see you, btw. It's been a lowwwwwwng time. Lol

          VodaHost

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          Comment

          • davidundalicia
            General

            • Mar 2006
            • 6294

            #6
            Re: New Book -

            Hi Kate, Welcome back, and as usual you are continuing to make us laugh....
            nice one.
            Have fun
            Regards..... David

            Step by Step Visual Tutorials for the complete beginner
            Newbies / Beginners Forum
            FREE Membership Login Scripts: - Meta Tags Analyzer
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            Finished your New website!! Now get it noticed Here:

            Comment

            • Dream Lady
              Major General

              • Feb 2006
              • 2036

              #7
              Re: New Book -

              I like that one Kate!! lol
              Cindy Smentowski

              Comment

              • kassi59
                Major General

                • Nov 2005
                • 2771

                #8
                Re: New Book -

                haha..thanx..I saw that and had to share with y'all...lol... just seemed too funny to not share..oh and my brother just sent me yet another!...
                yea, thats my secret...lol


                CAKE OR BED

                A HUSBAND IS WATCHING A
                FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

                HONEY,
                COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
                IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

                HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
                FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
                DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
                "General Electric" WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
                I DON'T THINK SO.

                FINE,

                THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
                WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
                IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT

                TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
                FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
                DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE "WESTINGHOUSE "
                WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
                I DON'T THINK SO

                FINE, SHE SAYS
                THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
                TO THE FRONT DOOR?
                THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.

                I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
                WANT TO FIX STEPS.
                HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
                "BUNNINGS" HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
                I DON'T THINK SO.
                I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
                I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

                SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
                COUPLE OF HOURS....................................

                HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
                HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
                TO GO HOME

                AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
                THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

                AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
                HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.

                AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
                THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

                HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
                SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
                OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

                JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
                WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.

                HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
                ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
                GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

                HE SAID,
                SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

                SHE REPLIED,
                HELLOOOOO...
                DO YOU SEE "SARA LEE" WRITTEN
                ON MY FOREHEAD?
                I DON'T THINK SO!

                Comment

                • mark6110
                  Major

                  • May 2006
                  • 261

                  #9
                  Re: New Book -

                  Great one Kate!
                  I was wondering where you were. Missed your humor and comments.
                  Hope all is well.
                  Mark
                  MARK6110

                  www.lorissecrets.co.uk
                  Mobile Hair & Beauty Treatments, Costa del Sol, Spain
                  www.princess-bride.co.uk
                  Bridal hair and make-up service, Costa del Sol, Spain

                  Comment

                  • Lincslady
                    Brigadier General

                    • Jan 2006
                    • 1397

                    #10
                    Re: New Book -

                    Originally posted by kassi59
                    haha..thanx..I saw that and had to share with y'all...lol... just seemed too funny to not share..oh and my brother just sent me yet another!...
                    yea, thats my secret...lol


                    CAKE OR BED

                    A HUSBAND IS WATCHING A
                    FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

                    HONEY,
                    COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
                    IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

                    HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
                    FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
                    DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
                    "General Electric" WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
                    I DON'T THINK SO.

                    FINE,

                    THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
                    WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
                    IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT

                    TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
                    FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
                    DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE "WESTINGHOUSE "
                    WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
                    I DON'T THINK SO

                    FINE, SHE SAYS
                    THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
                    TO THE FRONT DOOR?
                    THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.

                    I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
                    WANT TO FIX STEPS.
                    HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
                    "BUNNINGS" HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
                    I DON'T THINK SO.
                    I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
                    I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

                    SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
                    COUPLE OF HOURS....................................

                    HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
                    HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
                    TO GO HOME

                    AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
                    THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

                    AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
                    HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.

                    AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
                    THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

                    HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
                    SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
                    OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

                    JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
                    WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.

                    HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
                    ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
                    GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

                    HE SAID,
                    SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

                    SHE REPLIED,
                    HELLOOOOO...
                    DO YOU SEE "SARA LEE" WRITTEN
                    ON MY FOREHEAD?
                    I DON'T THINK SO!
                    hahahaha!
                    Click the link below for page guidelines (no more sideways scroll)

                    http://www.vodahost.com/vodatalk/sho...eferrerid=5490

                    How to Center your page
                    http://www.vodahost.com/vodatalk/blu...tml#post124746




                    Comment

                    • C L
                      General

                      • Jul 2006
                      • 5561

                      #11
                      Re: New Book -

                      lol Kate, some good ones

                      Comment

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