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The next time you have a bad day at work... think of this bloke.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail
he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana,
who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue:
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the
crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before
I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail
he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana,
who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue:
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the
crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before
I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"
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