Airline Humor.....!!!!

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  • Astraltraveller
    General

    • Jul 2006
    • 4006

    Airline Humor.....!!!!

    Airline Humor......

    In case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a
    plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gr! ipe
    sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

    The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
    and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
    some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots, (marked
    with a P) and the solutions recorded, (marked with an S) by maintenance
    engineers.

    By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had
    an accident.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode pr! oduces a 200 fee t per minute
    descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last..................

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
    pounding on something with! a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

    Manny(THE ALIEN LEADER)
    Click Here to See the Vodaliens Album & Join the Club!! Sendyour personal photo to be alienated to the Vodalien Group


    www.astralengineering.net
    www.masqueradecreations.com
  • C L
    General

    • Jul 2006
    • 5561

    #2
    Re: Airline Humor.....!!!!

    ha ha, funny.....good ones

    Comment

    • Mirelle
      Captain

      • Mar 2006
      • 204

      #3
      Re: Airline Humor.....!!!!

      LOL very funny Astral i also loved the one telling the plane to straighten and fly right had me in in fits of laughter.
      Mirelle

      Comment

      • limebrook1
        Brigadier General

        • Jun 2005
        • 1583

        #4
        Re: Airline Humor.....!!!!

        I really was 'laughing out loud' at these!
        Trish
        www.Limebrook.com
        www.MountainWalk.co.uk
        www.MyBeardedDragons.co.uk
        www.TucsonForBeginners.com
        www.Pets4kids.info

        Comment

        • Apple
          Private First Class

          • Sep 2007
          • 8

          #5
          Re: Airline Humor.....!!!!

          Comment

          • PennieNPence
            Major

            • Jun 2007
            • 442

            #6
            Re: Airline Humor.....!!!!

            LOL....

            Now That's Funny!
            http://www.penniesnpence.com

            Comment

            • Astraltraveller
              General

              • Jul 2006
              • 4006

              #7
              Re: Airline Humor.....!!!!

              Yeh!!!.....I though they were funny and I just had to share them with you guys......lol

              Hey!!!! Trish good to see you back.....lol......it's been a while, welcome back.

              Manny(THE ALIEN LEADER)
              Click Here to See the Vodaliens Album & Join the Club!! Sendyour personal photo to be alienated to the Vodalien Group


              www.astralengineering.net
              www.masqueradecreations.com

              Comment

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