Parent's Job Description......lol

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  • Astraltraveller
    General

    • Jul 2006
    • 4006

    Parent's Job Description......lol

    PARENTS JOB DESCRITION…….

    This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
    I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

    POSITION :

    Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
    Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop


    JOB DESCRIPTION :

    Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
    often chaotic environment.

    Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
    and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

    Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

    Travel expenses not reimbursed.

    Extensive courier duties also required.


    RESPONSIBILITIES :

    The rest of your life.

    Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

    Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

    Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

    Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

    Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.


    Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

    Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

    Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

    Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

    Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

    Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.


    POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

    None.

    Your job is to remain in the same position for years, withoutcomplaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.


    PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

    None required unfortunately.

    On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.


    WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

    Get this! You pay them!

    Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

    A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

    When you die, you give them whatever is left.

    The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.


    BENEFITS :

    While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered.

    This job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.




    Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

    Manny(THE ALIEN LEADER)
    Click Here to See the Vodaliens Album & Join the Club!! Sendyour personal photo to be alienated to the Vodalien Group


    www.astralengineering.net
    www.masqueradecreations.com
  • larazovich
    General

    • Jul 2006
    • 5811

    #2
    Re: Parent's Job Description......lol

    good one!
    Liz
    www.sebastopolparty.com
    www.raynordescendents.com

    Ring the bells that still can ring

    Comment

    • LadyEye
      General & Forum Moderator

      • Jun 2006
      • 10526

      #3
      Re: Parent's Job Description......lol

      lmbo ... gotta love it ... nice one LEADER!!

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      Comment

      • Astraltraveller
        General

        • Jul 2006
        • 4006

        #4
        Re: Parent's Job Description......lol

        Glad you ladies enjoyed that....lol.....Funny hee hee hee but some parts of quite true????

        Manny(THE ALIEN LEADER)
        Click Here to See the Vodaliens Album & Join the Club!! Sendyour personal photo to be alienated to the Vodalien Group


        www.astralengineering.net
        www.masqueradecreations.com

        Comment

        • Filtrex
          Second Lieutenant

          • Oct 2007
          • 113

          #5
          Re: Parent's Job Description......lol

          Gave me a headache reading it...

          My sympathies go to all mothers everywhere O.o
          www.filtrexsystems.com - Industrial and Municipal Filtration Systems! (My First Site)

          Comment

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