Dear All

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  • SChajin
    Major General

    • Jan 2006
    • 2792

    Dear All

    Dear All:



    My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year....



    I must send my thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat **** in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.



    Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.



    I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time



    I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program....



    Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died in testate.



    I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,207 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.



    I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.



    Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward the email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.



    Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.



    I no longer can buy gas without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl into my back seat while I'm filling up.



    I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.



    I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.



    Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.



    And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.



    If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.



    I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.



    By the way ... a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ's who have infrequent sexual activiy always read their emails with their hand on the mouse.



    Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
    Sharon Chajin
  • Jeremy
    Brigadier General

    • Apr 2006
    • 1502

    #2
    Re: Dear All

    lol thats funny sharon .. nicely said
    Best regards,
    Jeremy

    www.cornwall4rent.com

    Comment

    • Astraltraveller
      General

      • Jul 2006
      • 4006

      #3
      Re: Dear All

      That was funny thanks for sharing Sharon......lol

      Manny(THE ALIEN LEADER)
      Click Here to See the Vodaliens Album & Join the Club!! Sendyour personal photo to be alienated to the Vodalien Group


      www.astralengineering.net
      www.masqueradecreations.com

      Comment

      • C L
        General

        • Jul 2006
        • 5561

        #4
        Re: Dear All

        very good Sharon....lol

        Comment

        • sedona
          Major General

          • Jun 2007
          • 2177

          #5
          Re: Dear All

          FUNNY! Happy holidays and a happy new year!
          Ken

          If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girl friends. And they tolerated it and let us go ahead and play with our toys. Orson Wells

          Comment

          • WhyMeShow
            Sergeant

            • Dec 2007
            • 25

            #6
            Re: Dear All

            that was great. I needed a good laugh.
            So when ambition turns into a competition I'll never be the better man.

            Need a break? Watch my Web Show
            http://whymeshow.com

            Comment

            • whiteshepherd
              Brigadier General

              • Apr 2007
              • 1341

              #7
              Re: Dear All

              very funny ... hehehe ... have a fantastic 2008
              kym, merlin & tala
              creating white majick
              www.whiteshepherds.com.au
              www.unitedwhiteshepherds.com.au
              www.merlinsmajick.com
              www.kymdunbar.com

              Comment

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