Newspaper Headlines

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  • jkadin
    Brigadier General

    • Jan 2008
    • 1478

    Newspaper Headlines

    The following headlines were actually printed in newspapers. The irony in some of these are absolutely astonishing, hilariously funny (though sometimes awkward). Check them out:

    - Never Withhold Herpes ********* from Loved One
    - Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    - Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
    - Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    - Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    - Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    - Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    - Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
    - Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
    - Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
    - Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
    - Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
    - Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    - British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
    - Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
    - Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
    - Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
    - Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    - War Dims Hope for Peace
    - Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    - Deer Kill 17,000
    - Stolen Painting Found by Tree
    - Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
    - Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
    - Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
    - Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half
    - New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
    - Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    - Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
    - Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
    - Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    - Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
    - New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    - Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    - Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    - Eye Drops Off Shelf
    - Teachers Strike Idle Kids
    - Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
    - Princess Diana Was Alive Hours Before She Died
    sigpicJoe
    Funny Jokes and Redneck Pics

    www.anytime-figurines.com


    "laughter is the best medicine"
    The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings
  • SAman
    Major General

    • Mar 2007
    • 2009

    #2
    Re: Newspaper Headlines

    When I was on the paper staff in high school (photographer) the editors would purposely work out a sly head line and article headers. Those are good ones.
    Mike

    Any excuse for non performance only weakens the charactor

    In God We Trust

    Comment

    • davidundalicia
      General

      • Mar 2006
      • 6294

      #3
      Re: Newspaper Headlines

      Your number 3 headline is why they call me the Cookie Monster......lol
      Have fun
      Regards..... David

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      Comment

      • karenwms63
        Colonel

        • Feb 2008
        • 865

        #4
        Re: Newspaper Headlines

        Omg...David...you are a monster...LOL!

        dang forum...once again gotta climb back into chair...clean monitor...this is some funny $%&*...
        Karen Williams
        Your Belief is Your Reality

        Comment

        • davidundalicia
          General

          • Mar 2006
          • 6294

          #5
          Re: Newspaper Headlines

          The REAL cookie monster rides again....wheres them cookies got to............
          Have fun
          Regards..... David

          Step by Step Visual Tutorials for the complete beginner
          Newbies / Beginners Forum
          FREE Membership Login Scripts: - Meta Tags Analyzer
          My Social Networking Site - Free Contact Forms
          Finished your New website!! Now get it noticed Here:

          Comment

          • mohitbudhija
            Private

            • Aug 2008
            • 1

            #6
            Re: Newspaper Headlines

            hello

            Comment

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