Abbot and Costello: Computer Shopping

[D'son]

Re: Abbot and Costello: Computer Shopping

Thrid Installment

Costello: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base.
Abbott: No, what’s on second base.
Costello: I’m not asking who’s on second.
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well don’t change the players around!
Costello: I’m not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: All I’m asking you, who’s the guy on first base?!
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: Okay.
Abbott: Alright.
(Pause)
Costello: What’s the guy’s name on first base?!
Abbott: No, What is on second!
Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second!
Abbott: Who’s on first.
Costello: I don’t know.
Abbott: Oh, he’s on third. We’re not talking about him. Now let’s get back to first.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Well you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman’s name, who did I say’s playing third?
Abbott: No, Who’s playing first.
Costello: What’s on first?
Abbott: What’s on second.
Costello: I don’t know.
Abbott: He’s on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again! Will you stay on third base and don’t go off it?
Abbott: Alright, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who’s playing third base?!
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third?!
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: You don’t want who on second?!
Abbott: No, Who is on first.
Costello: I don’t know!
Both: Third base!
(Pause)
Costello: Look, you got outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder’s name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I’d ask you.
Abbott: Well I just thought I’d tell you.
Costello: Then tell me who is playing left field.
Abbott: Who is playing first.
Costello: I’m not…Stay out of the infield! I want to know, what’s the guy’s name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I’m not asking who’s on second.
Abbott: No, Who is on first.
Costello: I don’t know.
Both: Third base!
(Pause)