Letters to the Landlord

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • limebrook1
    Brigadier General

    • Jun 2005
    • 1583

    Letters to the Landlord

    Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords.

    The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.



    I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off.



    This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.



    The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

    I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.



    I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.



    Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.



    The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.



    Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.



    Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.



    Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny color and not fit to drink.



    Would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.



    Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap? My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.



    I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.



    When the workmen were here, they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess.
    Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.
    Trish
    www.Limebrook.com
    www.MountainWalk.co.uk
    www.MyBeardedDragons.co.uk
    www.TucsonForBeginners.com
    www.Pets4kids.info
  • davidundalicia
    General

    • Mar 2006
    • 6294

    #2
    Re: Letters to the Landlord

    Ooh arr trish.............very funny................lmbao
    Have fun
    Regards..... David

    Step by Step Visual Tutorials for the complete beginner
    Newbies / Beginners Forum
    FREE Membership Login Scripts: - Meta Tags Analyzer
    My Social Networking Site - Free Contact Forms
    Finished your New website!! Now get it noticed Here:

    Comment

    • Collectors-info
      General

      • Feb 2006
      • 8703

      #3
      Re: Letters to the Landlord

      Like it!
      Regards Chris.

      Collectables, Collecting, collectors-info.com

      www.chrismorris.co.uk

      House build project

      Comment

      • sedona
        Major General

        • Jun 2007
        • 2177

        #4
        Re: Letters to the Landlord

        Just goes to show: you can't make up stuff that's as funny as real life:)
        Ken

        If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girl friends. And they tolerated it and let us go ahead and play with our toys. Orson Wells

        Comment

        • D'son
          Major General

          • Apr 2008
          • 2577

          #5
          Re: Letters to the Landlord

          Would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.

          Isn't this why they made V i a g r a? Not sure as I have no knowledge of this product. LOL
          Reguards
          Ed
          www.dsondesigns.com
          www.marseillesyouthsports.com
          www.300hitter.com
          www.bigjk.net
          How to add JAlbum to your site

          Comment

          • jkadin
            Brigadier General

            • Jan 2008
            • 1478

            #6
            Re: Letters to the Landlord

            Dear mister landlord while mowing the lawn you have knocked down my erection please come over to straigten it out.
            sigpicJoe
            Funny Jokes and Redneck Pics

            www.anytime-figurines.com


            "laughter is the best medicine"
            The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings

            Comment

            • SAman
              Major General

              • Mar 2007
              • 2009

              #7
              Re: Letters to the Landlord

              LMAO
              Dear Lanlord; as my wife and I do not want any more children, could you come and take down the erection at our residence?
              Mike

              Any excuse for non performance only weakens the charactor

              In God We Trust

              Comment

              • Vasili
                Moderator

                • Mar 2006
                • 14683

                #8
                Re: Letters to the Landlord

                Dear Landlord,

                I do not appreciate the misery you have put us through recently. Had you enclosed the directions to the "Kitchen Disposal" it would have been clear to my wife and children that it was not appropriate to use on our old sofa.
                Please kindly repair the kitchen (which exploded and is still leaking) and furnish us a new convertible sofa. Green with a gentle texture would be nice.

                PS: I have been asked if you can do this tomorrow before my Mother-in-Law arrives for a fortnight's visit. She gets real nasty sleeping on a chair. (I get nasty when she's around, so doing things before she comes really would be better all around!)
                . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
                * Success Is Potential Realized *

                Comment

                Working...
                X