Little Ralphy .......

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  • Vasili
    Moderator

    • Mar 2006
    • 14683

    Little Ralphy .......

    LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH



    A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
    She calls on little Ralphy.


    He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'


    The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'


    Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.


    There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:


    One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
    The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.


    The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
    Which one is married?'


    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'


    To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
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  • Vasili
    Moderator

    • Mar 2006
    • 14683

    #2
    Re: Little Ralphy .......

    LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)




    Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic.



    'Why?' asks the father?



    'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.



    +'But that's right!' says his dad.



    'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''



    'What's the f...... difference?' asks the father.



    'That's what I said!'
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    • Vasili
      Moderator

      • Mar 2006
      • 14683

      #3
      Re: Little Ralphy .......

      LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH




      Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

      RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.'

      Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful.'

      Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl**job.'
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      • Vasili
        Moderator

        • Mar 2006
        • 14683

        #4
        Re: Little Ralphy .......

        LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR



        Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
        All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
        He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'


        The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
        The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
        Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'


        Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if
        you had bigger boobs, you'd be a TEN!'
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        • Vasili
          Moderator

          • Mar 2006
          • 14683

          #5
          Re: Little Ralphy .......

          LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)



          One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.


          First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'


          'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.


          'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'


          She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.


          'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!''



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          * Success Is Potential Realized *

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          • Vasili
            Moderator

            • Mar 2006
            • 14683

            #6
            Re: Little Ralphy .......

            LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER



            Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

            After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'


            Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

            The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'

            Little RALPHY answered, 'No, and he minded his own f.......... business too!'
            . VodaWebs....Luxury Group
            * Success Is Potential Realized *

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            • davidundalicia
              General

              • Mar 2006
              • 6294

              #7
              Re: Little Ralphy .......

              Oh boy..............that was the best laugh that I have had all week.....lmfao
              Have fun
              Regards..... David

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              • Vasili
                Moderator

                • Mar 2006
                • 14683

                #8
                Re: Little Ralphy .......

                LOL Reminds me of a friend I had in 3rd grade, actually!
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                • jkadin
                  Brigadier General

                  • Jan 2008
                  • 1478

                  #9
                  Re: Little Ralphy .......

                  Those are real good and some of them are turned into little johnny jokes. Anyway I had a huge laugh from them Thanks for the share.
                  sigpicJoe
                  Funny Jokes and Redneck Pics

                  www.anytime-figurines.com


                  "laughter is the best medicine"
                  The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings

                  Comment

                  • sedona
                    Major General

                    • Jun 2007
                    • 2177

                    #10
                    Re: Little Ralphy .......

                    Very funny, Vasili!
                    Ken

                    If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girl friends. And they tolerated it and let us go ahead and play with our toys. Orson Wells

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