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HITMAN
Two old friends were just about to tee off at their golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'
'Not a problem', they said, 'Come join us'.
They began play and enjoyed the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked, 'What do you do for a living?'
'I'm a hit man', was the reply.
'You're joking!' both friends responded.
'No, I'm not', he said, as he reached into his golf bag, pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
'Here are my tools.'
'That's quite a sight', said the one friend, 'I think I might be able to see my house from here'.
He picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right through the window. I can see my wife in the bedroom and she's naked! Wait, that's my neighbour in there with her ... he's naked too! The bit*h!' He turned to the hit man,
'How much do you charge for a hit?'
'I do a flat rate, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
'Can you do two for me now?'
'Sure, what do you want?'
'First, shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.
Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his d!ck off to teach him a lesson.'
The hit man took aim with the rifle, standing perfectly still for a couple of minutes.
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently.
'Just be patient', said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here!
Two old friends were just about to tee off at their golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'
'Not a problem', they said, 'Come join us'.
They began play and enjoyed the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked, 'What do you do for a living?'
'I'm a hit man', was the reply.
'You're joking!' both friends responded.
'No, I'm not', he said, as he reached into his golf bag, pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.
'Here are my tools.'
'That's quite a sight', said the one friend, 'I think I might be able to see my house from here'.
He picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house
'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right through the window. I can see my wife in the bedroom and she's naked! Wait, that's my neighbour in there with her ... he's naked too! The bit*h!' He turned to the hit man,
'How much do you charge for a hit?'
'I do a flat rate, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'
'Can you do two for me now?'
'Sure, what do you want?'
'First, shoot my wife. She's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.
Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his d!ck off to teach him a lesson.'
The hit man took aim with the rifle, standing perfectly still for a couple of minutes.
'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently.
'Just be patient', said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here!
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