Funny Stuff......

[mingswanfoo]

Present For Husband

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for
you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how
was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl....


OooooPPppssss!!!

[mingswanfoo]

Re: Funny Stuff......

ME and MY SUPERIOR/BOSS

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough


When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
He/She is busy,

When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
He/She takes the initiative,

When I please my boss,
I am ***** polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He/She is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's/She's only human.

When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's/She's on business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He/She must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview .
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's/she's overworked

When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

[mingswanfoo]

Re: Funny Stuff......

*Nude Runner*
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'
'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'
'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.
'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'
Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'
'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'

'Nope...just when it's raining.'

[mingswanfoo]

Re: Funny Stuff......

Religious Man

A husband came back from church, he greets his wife and lifts her up..

He then carried her around the house...

The wife was so surprise and asked: Did the Bishop preached about being romantic?

The husband said: No....

He said we must carry our burdens & sorrows...

[mingswanfoo]

Re: Funny Stuff......

DIVORCE VS. MURDER

A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide.' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my licence! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide! The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.