Zen Sarcasm

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  • racefan20
    Major General

    • Jul 2005
    • 2335

    Zen Sarcasm

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

    3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

    5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

    6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

    8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their *****. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their *****.

    9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

    10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

    12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

    13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

    14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

    16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

    18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

    19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

    20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
    My NASCAR Forum
  • Girlonthehill
    General

    • Oct 2005
    • 4193

    #2
    Re: Zen Sarcasm

    Lol (quietly, as it's still the middle of the night here). Excellent. Like 8, 10, 11, oh heck - they're all pretty amusing.

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    • limebrook1
      Brigadier General

      • Jun 2005
      • 1583

      #3
      Re: Zen Sarcasm

      LOL! Very good!
      Trish
      www.Limebrook.com
      www.MountainWalk.co.uk
      www.MyBeardedDragons.co.uk
      www.TucsonForBeginners.com
      www.Pets4kids.info

      Comment

      • kassi59
        Major General

        • Nov 2005
        • 2771

        #4
        Re: Zen Sarcasm

        sarcasms? hmm realisms? ponder ponder....
        very good!

        Comment

        • Lawale
          Private

          • Apr 2006
          • 4

          #5
          Re: Zen Sarcasm

          Those are really meant for people of your calibre.
          Lawale@breakthru.com
          Lawale

          Comment

          • gueorgui
            Major

            • Dec 2005
            • 293

            #6
            Re: Zen Sarcasm

            racefun you definitely have a gift of sarcasm:)

            Comment

            • Girlonthehill
              General

              • Oct 2005
              • 4193

              #7
              Re: Zen Sarcasm

              He has a wicked sense of humour but sadly is not around these pages any more. I think the place is a little duller without him :o(

              VodaHost

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