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A contemporary of mine hobbles into the doctor's office for his six month check up.
"How are you doing, John?" asks the Doctor.
"Just fine, Doc, except for two things."
"Tell me about them," says the doctor.
"Well, I can't remember things as well as I once did."
"And what is the other thing that's bothering you, John?"
"Well, I can't remember things as well as I once did."
"Are we not" is not the same as "we are not" - it is , in fact the opposite.
geoigio may be the momentary exception.
Dave
Tired eyes! Apologies! I read an email a few weeks ago where someone had painstakingly re-arranged the letters in each word. The first and last letters were as they should be but everything else was mixed up. Astonishingly enough - it was very, very easy to read! I'm not brilliant at proof reading my own work as I see what I know it should read. That's why the 'promote your site' forum is an important place for me. As Kate pointed out in a previous post, spellcheckers do not pick up on wrong words - just mis-spelt ones.
Oh well.... back to the makeovers....
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Professional spelling checkers have a strange job. When I knew about them - some years ago- they worked about 2 hours, had an hour off and then back at it. The best would read the piece from back to front to avoid getting interested in what was written and - try it - so the eye stops on each word. You cannot have an imagination and you cannot be overly intelligent (the mind wanders) thought gets in the way of checking. Bizarre. Now you know more about that breed than you ever wanted to know.
"mis-spelt" is also interesting if it's raining out and you've lost electricity: "mispelled" is a word; "spelt" is a word; "mis-spelt" is not a word but everyone understands it and uses it.
About the spell check, I was formerly a secretary and we relied heavily on the spell check. However, some secretaries didn't agree with the fact that we still had to proof-read our work and couldn't understand why I still proofed it after and tried to talk me out of it. It's reassuring that other people have the same point of view that I do. :)
Monday is not a holiday as far as I know, however, my mum always told me that Monday is the first day you can pick flowers outside, and then make a bouquet for your mother with those flowers and put them in water. No one I've ever talked to has heard of this so it must be a family thing.
In the area where I am currently living, the weekend closelst to May Day is flower planting day, although we are still experiencing very cold nights, I plan to wait a couple more weeks, that's if the yard boy actually does show up. (I'm thinking of firing him, if I ever see him again!)
Hi folks - beautiful spring day here. I live out in the country, and the view I am looking at as type is fields and fields of rape - poor hubby not amused as he is allergic to it! Brilliant yellow reflecting into the house - looks lovely now but in a couple of months it starts to smell like rotting cabbages. Ok, so living out in the country has its drawbacks! Much prefer it when the farmer plants wheat!
SARGEANT MAJOR? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING HERE i was a senior member with lots of standing in the community and now ive been demoted to a SARGEANT MAJOR come on you people whats going on here thats just not funny at all............. i sound like a sargeant major dont i sorry i will go back to bed now
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SARGEANT MAJOR? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING HERE i was a senior member with lots of standing in the community and now ive been demoted to a SARGEANT MAJOR come on you people whats going on here thats just not funny at all............. i sound like a sargeant major dont i sorry i will go back to bed now
LOL. Less of the whinging, Soldier!!
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I meant to post a secretary joke here but I posted it in "whats your rank"
by mistake.....My only excuse is that I saw girlonthehill¨above and thought that I was in this thread.....
Amanda you seem to be all over the place...where do you find the time ?
Whatever your drinking, I want some....................
oh dear vodahost that was terrible i think you must be quackers mate
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Don't knock Sargeant Major - I recall a Sargeant Major at a stuffy Washigton cocktail party. A young lady tried to engage him in conversation but his responses were excedingly formal. "You're really up tight,'' she said, "when was the last time you had sex?" "1955," was the reply. She immediately took by the hand into nearest bedroom and had extraordinary sex with him for 45 minutes. "You certainly haven't forgotten anyhing about sex since 1955," she said. "Well, Ma'am, it's only 2130 now."
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