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Why did the chicken cross the road -
Why did the chicken cross the road?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on
"THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help
him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls,
which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a
car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us,
or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is
a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for
it now, and will remain against it.
JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's
GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken
was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the
"other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced
a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your check book.
Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The
Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C\
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: "Did I miss one?"
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on
"THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on
the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help
him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead
of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls,
which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a
car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us,
or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is
a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for
it now, and will remain against it.
JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's
GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken
was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the
"other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced
a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your check book.
Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The
Platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C\
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: "Did I miss one?"
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