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Ships passing in the night -
Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you for good. I've been a good woman to you for
seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These
last two weeks have been hell. Y our boss called to tell
me that you had quit your job today and that was the
last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had
gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal
and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and
ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or any thing. Either you're cheating or
you don't love me anymore.
Whatever the case is, I'm gone!!
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and
I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,
although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant
nagging. Too bad that doesn't work! .
I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the
first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!"
My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say
anything nice. When you cooked "my favorite meal", you must
have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
stopped eating pork six years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee
because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars
from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto
for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two
tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have
the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't
get a dime from me.
So take care.
Dave, Rich As Hell, Free and on my way to Jamaica!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl,
my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you for good. I've been a good woman to you for
seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These
last two weeks have been hell. Y our boss called to tell
me that you had quit your job today and that was the
last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had
gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal
and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and
ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or any thing. Either you're cheating or
you don't love me anymore.
Whatever the case is, I'm gone!!
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and
I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,
although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant
nagging. Too bad that doesn't work! .
I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the
first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!"
My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say
anything nice. When you cooked "my favorite meal", you must
have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
stopped eating pork six years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee
because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars
from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto
for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two
tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have
the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't
get a dime from me.
So take care.
Dave, Rich As Hell, Free and on my way to Jamaica!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl,
my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
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