Freedom4lifesite

[timshaw]

Hi,

This is Tim back with my site reworked I have look and read a lot and needed to change looking for advise again.

Thanks,
Tim

www.freedom4lifesite.biz

[allstarfaces]

Re: Freedom4lifesite

your home page is untitled and im a bit unsure exactly what it is you are promoting? other links? but yes it looks ok could do with being centred as its in a box

[timshaw]

Re: Freedom4lifesite

Hi,
I did center it I ak trying now to get it titled if you open the link that tells you aboyt our products and the why we work.

Thamks for look and responding
Tim

www.freedom4lifesite.biz

[racefan20]

Re: Freedom4lifesite

Tim,

You're making progress, but you really need to pay more attention to spelling, grammar and punctuation. If these areas are a challenge for you, and they are a challenge for many, many people, perhaps you could ask someone close to you to proof read and help you clean it up a little.

I point it out, not to criticize, but because it's such a vital part of your site being taken seriously. You don't want the reader's eye to be distracted with spelling errors and awkward sentence structure.

One other thing of note is that you need to publish an index page to the air.freedom4life subdomain. Clicking the link takes me to a file directory.

Your site has a lot of potential and I wish you the best of luck with it.

[bill2006]

Re: Freedom4lifesite

[quote=racefan20]....
perhaps you could ask someone close to you to proof read and help you clean it up a little.quote]

-Consider writing first in Word or similar programs and running a spell check.
-Watch your links, try to highlight only the words, avoid those lines in front of the link.

[timshaw]

Re: Freedom4lifesite

Hi,

I put some more work in my site looking for somemore advise it is looking better then the first round. thanks to all for your help.

Tim Shaw

www.freedom4lifesite.biz

[lost-angel]

Re: Freedom4lifesite

You heard the negatives so heres some positive: This line on your site is a great attention grabber

A person can live about one month without FOOD.
Only about a week without WATER.
You can live only seconds without AIR

-------------------------
you have about 10 seconds to interest your site visitors... if they cant find someting to hold attention within that 10 seconds... the "back" button is clicked ... what you said about food, water and air is powerful... food water and air statement made me want to read more

[timshaw]

Re: Freedom4lifesite

Hi Lost-Angel,

Thank you for looking at my site and your remarks.

Tim

www.freedom4lifesite.biz

[timshaw]

Re: Freedom4lifesite

Hi,

The URL for my site now is www.air.freedom4lifesite.biz



Tim Shaw