new home page

[scubadiver]

Aloha, I have been trying to write an effective sales page on the home page. I could really use lots of feedback on this. Please give me your opinions and suggestions. I am open to anything. Thank you.

[choco777]

Re: new home page

First, happy you safe did the EQ effect your area? The text is fine.. Maybe if you make list of the things such as safe money
See sights 1,23 timers miss
but it is o.k. maybe changing the font,size and sentence distribution the way it is layed out will help.
Use your love for Hawaii when writing.
I sent to pc thread a page on awstats meanings. It must have been deleted cannot find it. do you need it still?

[scubadiver]

Re: new home page

Yes, the earthquake was 6.6, I was in the shower and rock'n rollin'. Yes, send me awstats meanings. I have receive a few humdred visitors since August and I am not registered with search engines.

I have purosely laid out the text this way for emphasis. Is it okay to read or is it too wierd? I want to be different but effective. Would you buy the insider's guide from me? Would you stay on the website more than 30 seconds?

[choco777]

Re: new home page

Link is www.webmasterstop.com/47.html

First do a google search for i p locator then check and see how many of those hits were you checking your site or other blue voda members going to you site.

If you are not picked up by SE yet or you have not submitted the only person who can go to your site are the ones with the URL, or know the page names.

Go to some travel sites join and while answer ing questions or? mention your site name I booked three tours this way in two months.

The answer to you question on the text, it is you choice but not my preference. It is unique for you. I'll get back.

[choco777]

Re: new home page

Your text is fine. Just split it up. Tell them First .....you visit (adjective) Hawaii AND SAVE MONEY TOO! How?...list
Let them know like I suggested to you before that YOU can take them exotic places others cannot. Make reference to short trips for those doing lay over on crusises, specials for military families visiting their GIs, at Hickum if still there....Promote. Promote and Promote some more. Remember YOU are the ONLY tour agency in Hawaii able to take them anyplace and every place, allow customized tours.

[Bethers]

Re: new home page

Choco, she's been picked up already. And this isn't a tour agency - but a guide to be purchased.

Please get rid of the centered text - very unprofessional looking - and I think I sent you a different headline - which you really need the whole thing if you want the se's to get the words you need them to get.

And take off the "website under construction line" - not necessary.

Let me know if you still want me to work on this?

[choco777]

Re: new home page

She is as the word indicates the agent of her company one person or more. I said tour agencies in hawaii THAT is who she is competeing with, ones who offer meals, lodging, airfare...hard to be tour guide if you cannot get angencies prices. Doesn't work. Sorry for Butting in on YOUR work,bethers.

[Karen Mac]

Re: new home page

Wow Scuba! I must say Im kinda shocked to see your site, after the work I seen that Bethers put into it and the time she took to help you. While you did take most of the text she helped you write, Im surprised that you disregarded all the rest of her insight and talent. I happened to see what she was working on, as I was helping her with some graphics for icons for your menu. I think at the very least you should say she helped you, and I agree with all the rest that the text needs to be aligned justified or to the left to look professional.

Karen

[Bethers]

Re: new home page

Oh, no Choco, you are not butting in - I misunderstood what you said about tour agency. Please keep making suggestions for her.

[MadMermaid]

Re: new home page

Aloha
I'm with Beth on the centre text. also a bit of a scrol on the preview. Good luck with the guide.

[choco777]

Re: new home page

I was admonishing myself not you Bethers...Would never...You have helped me tooo Much...I seek out your posts for my own selfish.

[scubadiver]

Re: new home page

Bethers, I appreciate all your help and I hope you are still working with me. I like your ideas and I have new ideas also. I didn't put in your header yet because I wasn't sure that that was the one I was going to use. I am very concerned with the sales letter. I told you that. I need this sales letterr to intice people to want to stay on my website and look further. I don't mean any disrespect. I hope you can you can understand.

[Lgddesign01]

Re: new home page

I don’t like the blue and the green combination. Power point has an awesome ocean scene. I have used it in many presentations. Just an idea. I am dying to go to Hawaii some day. Good luck.
David

[ryanhitchings]

Re: new home page

Hi

[Bethers]

Re: new home page

OK, let's get back to the basics - and work with it offline before it gets changed 20 times in 10 days LOL - then you can ask for feedback!

David, I agree on the color combination - am working with changing the text (if it works) to blend with the background ocean color instead of clash with it.