another site for critique

[niome]

Please look at this site I designed for my friend. Let me know what you think!
www.chantillygoldens.com :)

[SChajin]

Re: another site for critique

Again a beautiful site but the over lapping is on this one as well. Maybe bring down your font size.

[larazovich]

Re: another site for critique

Please look at this site I designed for my friend. Let me know what you think!
www.chantillygoldens.com :)

Nice Site, pretty and nice pictures.

I have the same overlapping text issues when viewing as with your other site, but, again, I think this may be due to your choice of font.

Are you using a web friendly font?
If not, it will default to another font if your visitor doesn't have the one you used installed on their computer.

Also, there are grammatical errors throughout the site, here and there, so you might consider having someone go over it for you, with fresh eyes.
As an example on the home page you have both run on and fragmented sentences, which detract from the professionality of the site.

The suggestion to reduce the font size is a good one, too, It doesn't need to be so big, and causes the viewer to scroll and scroll.

Also, check the length of your pages, as several have quite a bit of blank space at the bottom.

Good start - just alittle tweaking needed to tidy it up.

regards,

[niome]

Re: another site for critique

okay I figured out a way to run paste the text in my microsoft works as a letter and the spelling and grammer check came back as okay?? There were no grammatical errors and the only spellin issue the program had was Goldens in the title? So I'm not sure what you are cinsidering a fragment or runon sentence! I'll see what I can do for the scrollong on the pages. Thanx

[larazovich]

Re: another site for critique

okay I figured out a way to run paste the text in my microsoft works as a letter and the spelling and grammer check came back as okay?? There were no grammatical errors and the only spellin issue the program had was Goldens in the title? So I'm not sure what you are cinsidering a fragment or runon sentence! I'll see what I can do for the scrollong on the pages. Thanx

Here is an example of what I mean:
Your site says the following:
Here at Chantilly Golden Retrievers we take great care in our breeding program and insist that all the dogs included have passed all their Health Clearances (OFA Hips & Elbows, CERF Eyes (annually), and have been cleared of any hereditary heart conditions).
As well as proving themselves as Canadian and/or American Champions before being included.
By taking these steps we believe we can enhance the breed and reach our goals.

And here are my comments:

The blue sentence reads a bit awkwardly, and a bit of a run-on - It could be:

Here at Chantilly Golden Retrievers we take great care in our breeding program. We insist that all the dogs have passed their Health Clearances including OFA Hips & Elbows and annual CERF Eyes. We aso ensure that they have been cleared of any hereditary heart conditions.

The red sentence is a fragment, having no evident subject and verb. Instead, you might say:

We verify that all of our animals have proved themselves as Canadian and/or American Champions before being included in (HERE YOU WOULD SAY WHAT YOU ARE INCLUDING THEM IN).


The green sentence is complete, but it refers to steps that have not been clearly stated. Instead, you might say something like:

By ensuring the complete health of our animals, verifying their bloodlines and providing complete socialization and kind handling, we believe we can enhance the breed and reach our goal of (HERE YOU WOULD STATE YOUR GOALS)

Niome, I hope you do not take offense at these things, which may seem to you small and insignificant. They are critical to the overall quality of your site.

In order for your sites to have that professional edge, they need to be razor ***** with all spelling, text, grammer and syntax perfectly done.

As a website creator, this attention to detail will set you apart from the pack, make your work special and sought-after.

Many site designers do not have a natural 'editing eye', and use prefessional editing services to make certain there are no mistakes, thereby freeing up their own time for the more creative and artistic parts of web design. You might consider doing this, or perhaps having a friend with good editing skills look over your site and do some tidying up.

This site has a beautiful look, the colors are stunning, and the photographs excellent.

Couple of other things:

On Kali's page -
In the second sentence, there should be a comma between Champions and most.
In the third sentence there should be an apostrophe before the s in the word breeds.
The pedigree link takes you off site, and there is no way to get back, so you may lose your visitor.

I did not go over all the pages, but see what I mean?

Good Luck, Niome, you have a gerat start.

[SAman]

Re: another site for critique

Hello Niome,
Liz is right on, the best thing to do is have someone, or more read your text. The grammer and spell check in word is not a good editor. It's easy but it doesn't see all the errors. You have done some really good work on both of your sites, so don't get discouraged! I'm a former Golden owner, and love the breed. You will get it sorted out, and I look forward to seeing both sites stand out. Good Luck!!!

[Bethers]

Re: another site for critique

Niome,
Run-on sentences is something I showed you several examples of in your first site to review. You really need to learn proper grammer and sentence structure if you want to build professional websites that will help these people. And if it means you need to pay someone to do this portion of webwork for you, it would be to your advantage to do so.

Here is another example of it in this site:

If you are looking for a golden puppy please feel free to contact me I might not have a litter available or planned but I will be happy to refer you to another reputable breeder.

We keep showing these to you, but I doubt that you are seeing the problem since you continue to write them. We can't all be experts in everything, so find someone who can do this for you.

[niome]

Re: another site for critique

Actually Bethers alot was copied and pasted from the other site I created and moved over here so alot of this has slipped my attention. I get the message on the grammer no need to keep typing it, I have no need to hire someone I know english and grammar and still disagree with the front page comments. However you have pointed out some mistakes I've made and I have been able to fix them for this I thank you! Part of it is my impatience and tendency to rush which is why I put it up for critique in the first place! I get excited to see it working and to be honest I'm a little more interested in designing so the grammar sometimes slips my attention. That being said thanx for all the great comments and I look forward to more in the future!!

[CarbonTerry]

Re: another site for critique

Speaking of grammer and spelling.....make that grammar. ;>}

[Bethers]

Re: another site for critique

I'm not sure I can figure out what you mean when you say you disagree about the front page comment. If you mean that you believe this is a sentence:
As well as proving themselves as Canadian and/or American Champions before being included.

It's not.

We are only trying to help you. I'm a big animal lover - and would like to see you successful with these sites. But I'm also web knowledgeable - and I know that just putting up a site on the web doesn't do people any good. It has to be more. It has to have the design combined with the necessary professionalism and combined with the optimization so that it will be found as necessary by se's and the people who would be searching for it. This requires doing the homework necessary to make these sites do that.

No one is arguing with your design work. And you admit that is where your expertise is. Personally, I wouldn't have considered designing websites for others until after I had learned a considerable amount about what makes them work. And I still don't design. Most of what I get paid to do - is to go in after a designer has made someone a site that isn't working. Then I get to redo the site - to make it work for the customer. I'm just trying to help you make the site so it's not just designed well, but going to work for your customer from the start - as are the rest of the people commenting.

[niome]

Re: another site for critique

you are right Bethers! I have read that page over as if speaking quivkly in my mind and missed it! wow! I retract my disagreement!! :) It shall be corrected! Thanx again!
PS I am having difficulty typing what I want to tell you properly! Most of this was from a site I redesigned, the text was already there and I pretty much just incorporated it into my design for the owner.