Aloha, would you please read my "newindex" page and tell me what you think as a sales letter. Also, please read the "preview" and tell me if I am giving too much or too little away. I might be in the wrong forum with this.
new sales page
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Re: new sales page
-Your photos overlap your text.
-It does appear that you have offered too much info, consider what is left to encourage users to explore further and maybe reduce text and add a link. Something like "to read more click here"
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Re: new sales page
First - you need to make the words clickable that are your links - not just the pics above them! I don't think you have too much info there - but that shouldn't be an index page - but is better as an info page - and you can link to it in text on the home page with "reasons to visit Hawaii" or some such - and make it it's own page.
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Re: new sales page
1 the above feedbacks are great, follow 'em
2 if you want to reduce the text which you better do, just put like for example as big title : Great idea to afford your stay in Hawai and then above it put a small text link read more or get more information. which will take to another page with all that information you got
3 you should have your pages links in each page that will let visitors to navigate easely in your website.
4 your index page looks great, but you need to give it more attractive elements like more photos.
5 in your preview page you better edit your pics to give them a same look, cuz you have one withshadow and another with stroke etc etc.
otherwise, very good job, I like what you are doingThe Producer
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